Build Calluses In Your Mind And Withstand The Toughest Challenges

By Roz Jones

As a caregiver, you will face challenges, failures, setbacks, and disappointments. How you deal with these obstacles will determine the outcome. Mental toughness separates those who fail to meet challenges and quit from ones who don’t. If your mind is trained to withstand whatever test comes, nothing will be too hard to overcome. If you train your mind right, you will bounce back from every failure and withstand difficulties. Nothing will be strong enough to keep you down.

6 ways to build mental toughness and withstand the toughest challenges.

Have a clearly defined life purpose.

Knowing your purpose in life and staying true to it each day will help you to build mental toughness. It will give you the strength you need to withstand the toughest challenges because you know what you intend to accomplish. You know that problem you have, no matter how difficult, is just another bump on the road.

When you work towards your main aim each day, you boost your self-confidence and renew your hope. You train your mind to remain focused because you know where you want to be. So, have a clearly defined life purpose and take action every day so you can build mental resilience and withstand every challenge.

Continue to improve your skills.

The best way to cultivate mental toughness is by improving your skills. When trials come and you feel there is no way out, don’t give up. Continue to live. Keep doing more of what you are good at. What you love. This will help your mind to focus more on the positive side of things and less on the negative. If you continue to work on your skills while going through challenges, you will be surprised how fast your mind heals, discovers solutions, and helps you to overcome.

Control your emotions and thoughts.

Get rid of “This is unbearable” “I don’t have enough strength to face this” and “I just don’t feel like fighting anymore” because entertaining such thoughts causes your brain to think there is no way out. You will not find the strength you need to endure because you believe and confess that you are not strong enough. So, control your emotions and thoughts. Have the right attitude amid your struggles. Say “This will pass” “I will win this fight” and “I have endured and overcome worse things in the past” because sometimes all you need to face your battles is the right attitude.

Build meaningful relationships.

Building meaningful relationships and having a strong support system is the key to cultivating mental toughness. Therefore, surround yourself with the right people. Be around optimistic people and fighters. That way, you will have somewhere to lean on when you feel you can’t go on. You will view your situation differently and sooner or later realize that you can bear with anything.

Remain optimistic despite your present situation.

One of the main things that make it seemingly impossible to withstand trying times, especially as caregivers, is the “This isn’t going to change”mentality. When you expect only the worst and believe that turning your situation around is impossible, you are not going to gain victory. So, be hopeful despite your present situation. Trust that things are going to get better. Believe that you have what it takes to face that challenge and win.

“Things will get better with time” “This will someday change” “I can fight this” “I can do this” and “I will win” can help you to endure the toughest challenges.

Be prepared for any outcome.

Fear of uncertainty is one of the most powerful things that force you to quit fighting when going through challenges. You don’t know whether or not things are going to work out and grow faint at the sign of defeat. Understand that enduring tests and trials means being prepared for any outcome. If you expect anything to happen and prepare yourself for change, you will survive difficulties and go through them with an “I am ready for anything” mentality. That way, when things don’t turn out the way you want them to, you will keep fighting and moving forward.
Preparing for the difficult things in life is something we never want to do, but as caregivers it is a must. If you are struggling with how to plan for yours or a loved one’s end of life, you need to pre-order my new book, Lifted. It will include a workbook that will help you work through each step.

2 Legal Documents Everyone Needs Before They get Sick

By Roz Jones

Being ill is no fun. Neither is being unable to participate in making personal medical decisions. If you are unconscious or unable to articulate your consent for treatment, a medical provider or next of kin may have to make them for you. Preserving life is always the plan, but sometimes, believe it or not, you may not want that to be the plan. It is often easy to become overwhelmed and emotional when taking care of a loved one. Don’t let that stop you from preparing for the next steps. As a caregiver it’s important that we plan ahead for all circumstances.

Here are a few scenarios where life-saving measures might not be your first choice:

Scenario #1. A terminally ill patient with a disease like Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s may not want to be fed through a tube or given antibiotics after a certain stage of their disease.

Scenario #2. A brain-damaged individual who will have to live indefinitely outside of their home in a facility may not want to be on a breathing tube or dialysis or other artificial life-saving machines.

Scenario #3. Someone with a pacemaker or other device may want it removed if their condition worsens to a certain point.

Under certain circumstances, life-saving measures make perfect sense. When recovery is likely and quality of life is high, it is worth the effort and time it takes to recover or endure life-saving measures. However, there may be times or circumstances where a caregiver needs to draw a line in the medical sand.

There are two legal documents that will make it clear to providers and your family that you do not want measures taken and if you do, what they are and when they stop.

An Advance Directive
A Do Not Resuscitate (DNR)

An Advance Directive: An Advance Directive is a tool used to make end-of-life decisions ahead of time, alleviating medical staff and your family from having to make them. Your Advance Directive is a legal document that you can add to your will or trust so it is easily accessible if it needs to be enforced.

A DNR: A document that denies life-saving measures if your heart stops beating or you are unable to breath on your own.

These documents will help caregivers prevent life-saving measures that might prolong suffering or low-quality living. Consult your primary care physician to learn more and make the decisions that are right for you.

To get more information on end of life planning, be sure to purchase your copy of my upcoming book, Lifted. Enjoy!

The Only Thing Standing Between Success And Failure Is Mental Toughness

By Roz Jones

I once watched a TED talk about what separates ‘A’ students from ‘B’ students and generally why some students perform better than others. Angela Duckworth said that it’s not the talented, or intelligent that make it, it’s those students that persevered, it’s those students that tell themselves that no matter what they will succeed. She called this grit! I would like to think that this is what mental toughness is. Mental toughness is deciding to succeed against all odds, it’s what will push you when your back is against the wall and things do not seem to be working well for you. Mental toughness is what stands in between success and failure.

The beautiful thing about life is that it does not have favorites. Challenges happen to us all and for some people, those challenges are a reason to give up and for others, they are reasons to go forward. When choosing the path of success, you are guaranteed obstacles but it is only your mental fortitude that will get you through those times. The way we think about things often makes a difference. When you have mental toughness, you condition your mind to only see success. Not that failure is non-existent but that you are focused because you know exactly what you want.

One of the definite signs that someone lacks mental toughness is a lack of focus and direction. When anything happens, you run with it and when things do not go your way you panic. Mentally tough people are focused and can put things into perspective, just because you run into some hard times it’s not a reason to throw in the towel. The mind is where the battle is, once you tell yourself that you can overcome, you certainly will, but once you think of yourself as a failure that’s exactly what you will be. Without mental toughness, any setback ceases to be seen as an opportunity for growth and progress but as a hindrance that stops you from going for the things that you want.

Success is an issue of mind over matter. It does not choose where you come from or who you are, it is all lodged in the mind. A tough mind possesses strong self-belief. Most people do not believe in themselves; they believe everything else just not themselves. You can achieve anything as long as you believe that you can. Success is for believers, people who believe in themselves and what they can do.

After every cloud, there is a silver lining. We have heard this quite too many times. The hardest thing though is that during the storm when the clouds are gathering you cannot see any better. When you go through tough times as an individual, everything you have heard or know goes out the window and all your focus is on fixing the problem. The challenge is that when the storm drags on, naturally we give up. This is not true for people with mental toughness. They understand that tough times do not last. This is the true attribute needed to make it in life. Knowing that no matter how much the troubling times, a day will come when that silver lining will appear. Mental toughness begets perseverance and patience, understanding that ‘not now’, does not equate to ‘not ever’. A day will come and all the work and the sacrifice will come in handy.

Mental toughness is truly the separator between success and failure. It all rises and falls on our thought patterns and the things we believe to be true about ourselves. Without mental toughness when the rigorous tempests of life come, we throw in the towel on issues that could have led us to a better tomorrow. Your success or failure in life depends on you as an individual, you become what you think. When your mind is strong, you think positively, you think like a winner, but with a weak mind, you can flee at the first sight of trouble.

Sometimes You Must Suffer To Grow

By Roz Jones

Almost everyone loves a comfortable life and some will do anything and everything in their power to get it. It is for such reasons that we bribe our way out of some challenges and take shortcuts if the route to where we want to go seems long and presents countless obstacles. But what happens when we become too comfortable and don’t face challenges? Not make people comfortable in their failures and struggles but hey, they say a smooth sea does not make a skilled sailor and we will find out why.

It is not without a reason that people are being encouraged to get out of their comfort zones. As previously highlighted, as humans we long for a life of comfort, and who can blame us? Challenges can drain life and energy out of a person. We want peace, certainty, safety, and all the good things we can get. However, when we get too comfortable, we become content with who we are and what we have and, growth is slowed down or there is none at all. There is even the possibility of growing backward.

There are various reasons why we suffer including our own choices and those of others. Whatever the reason, you get to grow in some or all of the following ways;

Suffering pushes you out of your comfort zone – it leaves you no choice but to do something to change your life. Some people are doing well in life because they vowed to themselves that they will not continue living in the poverty they grew up in. Maybe it is even safe to conclude that if some people had suffered enough, they would be leading better lives than they do now. This includes choices in relationships, academic performance, career choices, and job selection among other things. People tend to relax when they know or think they still have more options other than to get out of their comfort zones and do their best. Sometimes it is only when we have suffered that we become more willing to consider other options rather than stick to what we have always wanted.

Makes you stronger – most people who have gone through various kinds of suffering are stronger than those who have known comfort all their lives and just a few ‘nice life problems’. As you go from one challenge to another, you get to realize that crying and anxiety are a waste of time and energy. No matter what you are going through, a solution will come sooner or later. Spending time drowning in your sorrows only takes away more from you because you cannot think straight, you have all your energies focused on the problem which makes you less productive or desperation gets you going out of your way to find a solution. It is often people who have gone through the worst who are often there for others and are able to remain sane even where there is seemingly no hope.

Improves decision making – sometimes we suffer because of the poor decisions we or others make. Suffering the consequences puts us in a position where we try by all means to avoid going through the same things or causing others to experience the same. For example, some have suffered because of their parent’s or their own poor financial choices while others have spent their childhood in a home that lacked love and affected them in a way. The experiences can be the reason they decide to handle finances differently and aim to provide a better home for their children.

Broadens your understanding – suffering improves your thinking capacity helps you see life in a way you never would have seen it if all you had known was comfort. You get to understand your place in life and how you can be useful in your journey. In other terms, you learn to see beyond your space and interests.

Become the Toughest Version Of Yourself

By Roz Jones

Often, when we dream of being better people or improving our lives we think of our finances. We want to have enough money to afford cars, houses, holidays and all the nice things in life. Would that be enough or even possible if we did not have inner strength? Without being the toughest versions of ourselves? Toughness is one of the things we barely give thought to and when we do, it is often when we are cornered. We try to be tough when we are left without any other choice. As caregivers, this happens all too often because of the amount we take on.

We often associate being tough with having muscles, masculinity, a serious face, being inflexible, or being mean to others and the likes. Those are some of the most common connotations, but, does being mean, having muscles, masculinity, inflexibility, and keeping a straight face make you mentally tough? You can be all those things and still be ‘weak.’

It is important to note that we can never achieve perfection. The world around us and our situations keep changing, and will continue to do so. Therefore, we will need to either keep up or stay ahead to survive and remain relevant. To walk the path we dream of without wavering, we need our inner strength to match our dreams and purpose. We must be brave, determined, and focused among other things. We must be able to conquer your fears, doubts, and other weaknesses to be able to stand up against the world and reign. You need to be willing to keep growing and becoming a better person than you were yesterday.

To become the toughest version of yourself, you need to equip yourself in the following ways;

Work on your mental health – Your mental health is everything. The greater part of your being depends on it. Being mentally healthy is mostly about maintaining a positive state of mind. Your mental state determines your perceptions and how you respond to external pressures. If you are mentally strong, every other form of toughness is just a bonus. Mentally healthy people know how to choose their battles, are confident, are emotionally intelligent (control their emotions rather than being controlled by emotions), are strong-willed, and are not easily derailed from their main goal. A positive state of mind allows you to be in control of your life and enables you to make good decisions. As caregivers this is particularly important when facing fears.

Stay physically healthy – There is a connection between physical and mental health. Poor mental health puts one at risk of physical health and vice-versa. Also, you find satisfaction in your ability to conceive an idea and also be the one to execute it or see it through. You easily achieve goals and learn more when you are directly involved in making decisions as to how things should be done. Therefore, ensure that you exercise to stay fit, strong, and energized. It also helps you refresh your mind and relieve stress. One of the most important aspects of physical health that you need to prioritize is eating healthy. Your choice of food has immediate and long-term effects. Eat food that will help you stay alert and energized throughout the day while ensuring that you won’t be affected in the long run.

Improve your skills – We live in a competitive world, all while being required to work with a team. It is not enough to acquire a skill and end there. Become the best possible. You do not want to feel like you are not as good as your peers, nor do you want to be the weakest link in your team. Being good at what you do gives you confidence and makes it easier for your voice to be heard. With good skills and the will to continue learning you will be respected and unstoppable as a professional.

Show love – They say ‘love conquers all’. It empowers you, while it denies entry points to anyone who wishes to be enemies with you. When the negative energy sent your way is met with love, the enemy is disempowered and it will not be long before they run out of plots. Choosing love helps maintain positivity, focus on that rather than focusing on unnecessary fights. Build meaningful relationships whenever possible. Love will most likely earn you respect and win people’s hearts. You will always need people on your side, especially when things get tough.

Build a strong support system – Even the most mentally stable people do go through tough situations. They lose hope and get close to giving up. It always helps to have people who will give you the support you need to get back your strength. As a caregiver, this support system is exponentially more important for you because you cannot do this alone!