Using Hospice Services for Dying at Home

Preparing for end of life means coming to terms with the fact that death is part of living. How you die may not be something you decide but sometimes where you die is in your control. Hospice services can help.

Hospice Care is a type of health care that serves to relieve pain without treating the cause for the pain. The focus of a hospice team is to provide medical, emotional, and spiritual support to families with a terminal patient – generally in their own home.

Some of the benefits of hospice care are:

Ability to die at home
Pain management
Help with ancillary medical needs
Provide education
Offer emotional support

Being able to be at home during the final days of life can be a helpful and comfortable thing for entire families. Being in familiar surroundings with loved ones, pets, and personal belongings can make transitioning easier than being isolated in a sterile and noisy environment like a hospital. Most everyone prefers the idea of being home rather than away when they die.

If you or a loved one has a terminal diagnosis, you are likely a candidate for palliative care and eventually hospice. Your medical provider can help you connect with a hospice team where you will create a plan and set goals for your experience. This may include things like:

Comfort needs
Direct care needs
Choices during transition
Direct support for emotional and spiritual needs

Hospice isn’t just about direct care when you are actively dying. It begins with a terminal diagnosis. Palliative care – while not considered hospice care – is a form of treating pain and making plans before hospice takes over providing final care. You do not have to be bed ridden to get support. Your medical team will include palliative care as part of your treatment plan.

As things progress your hospice nurse will provide assistance to you and your family to help make things less scary and as comfortable as possible. Knowing someone is there who can help and that you can be at home at such an important time makes such big difference in your peace of mind and comfort during this process. Even after you pass, your hospice support team will help your family contact your mortuary and help ready your remains for your pre-planned funeral process.

Tips for Sharing Difficult Plans with Your Kids

Planning for retirement includes planning for your end-of-life needs. Making important decisions about your medical care, where you intend to live, and how you want your estate managed if you become incapacitated or unable to manage your own needs is part of being a mature adult.

Kids are not adults and should not be a part of planning unless…

There is a terminally ill parent
An abrupt accident has taken place

Both scenarios are highly unusual but they do happen and there is no avoiding the realities facing the family. What is appropriate and important to share with children under these circumstances?

Here are some tips for sharing difficult plans with your kids.

Tip #1. Be age-appropriately honest- If there is a terminal situation or a fatal accident, there’s no denying what is happening; however, the language you use and the extent you share the details should match the maturity and development of your child. Be honest but censor your truth through a filter that is age-appropriate.

Tip #2. Get help- Whether it’s a counselor, clergy member, trusted friend, or family member, get some outside help. Having more than one person on your team to share supporting your children can make a big difference. Every person who is involved will have a unique impact on your children and make it easier to digest and manage difficult plans.

Tip #3. Ask questions- Checking in with your children and asking them directly how they are doing can help them feel better about opening up and sharing their feelings. Making it all right to talk about how they feel can help them cope better and make sure they don’t have any confusion or deep-seated issues they may need help with.

Tip #4. Keep things simple- People form attachments to experiences so keep things simple. If you have tough news to share, keep the environment neutral and safe. Don’t go out to dinner to share tough news or try to make things easier over an ice cream cone. This can ruin ice cream for your children for the rest of their lives. Keep things simple and direct in a neutral space so the main focus is the issue at hand.

Everyone wants to protect children from pain. That’s always the preferred choice but sometimes it can’t be avoided. You can share tough plans with your children if you use safe and sane guidelines that are age appropriate and surrounded by support.

De-Clutter Your Life; Your Family Will Thank You

You’ve spent a lifetime gathering personal belongings and acquiring the things that make your house a home. It’s hard to imagine not using them or having access to them when you need them. How many of these things have gone unused and unnoticed for a while?

As we get older, we move past the accumulation stage of life and simply settle into living with what we have. Eventually what we have may become more than we will ever need again. It might be time to de-clutter and downsize. The more you hold on to, the more you leave behind for those you love to deal with. That’s not a very smart move.

Aside from heirlooms and assets of value, our homes are generally filled with things that no longer serve us or we simply don’t need. At some point it makes sense to clear things out and start to streamline. Here are some practical dos and don’ts for de-cluttering your life to make things easier for your family.

Do- Keep things of value: Your antiques, art, and family heirlooms have value. Don’t discard or give away items that are worth something financially or emotionally.

Do- Sort through closets, drawers, and storage: These spaces tend to become black holes that contain unused and unimportant items. Tackle these spaces and reduce, recycle, and donate items you are no longer using.

Do- Enlist your family’s help: Ask your family to help you determine what is worth keeping and what is worth letting go of. You don’t have to accept every recommendation they have but their impartial advice might help you make decisions easier.

Don’t- Overthink things: People hold onto things for a lot of weird reasons. Don’t overthink the usefulness of something you haven’t looked for in years. If you aren’t actively using an item, consider getting rid of it.

Don’t- Forget others need donations: Many of the things you aren’t using could benefit someone else. From a homeless shelter to helping a woman back on her feet, your unused items could help give someone else a brand new start. Be willing to donate gently used items to make a difference.

Don’t- Be afraid: De-cluttering isn’t about losing your things. It’s about taking responsible action to streamline your life and be aware of how much you own and if it serves you. Don’t be afraid of letting go and clearing up space for easier living and a clutter-free home.

Part of prepping for the later part of life is clearing out the clutter. Making things easier for the people who will have to manage your space for you after you are gone is kind and responsible. Do your part to de-clutter and get rid of the items that no longer have value or serve your needs.

Using Investments to Augment Income and Medical Care Expenses

There are lots of ways to save for the future. From a simple savings account to a retirement fund, there are benefits and disadvantages for every plan. The best scenario is a diversified plan that covers a wide range of savings options.

Investments are a savings strategy that can grow income that augments your retirement income and helps pay for out of pocket medical expenses. As we age, the bigger issues become health related. Having adequate coverage for a wide range of possibilities is valuable. We never know what sort of medical and other expenses we may have but some include:

Long-term hospital stays
Medication and ancillary equipment needs
Out of home placement
Estate management
And more

Making investments can help grow income passively while you earn income throughout your career. Once you retire, your sources of income work in conjunction with one another to preserve your standard of living.

If you have medical coverage in place after retirement, there may still be out of pocket expenses. Leveraging investment income can help offset those costs and may have fewer penalties than accessing other sources of income. Your financial planner can help you evaluate the best investment plan for your budget.

If you start investing in your younger years, you have a great chance of growing your income with simple and consistent investments. If you are starting later, no worries you can still grow your income and use strategies to make up for lost time. Either way, investing will help you generate income that supports your needs later in life.

Here are some simple investment ideas for your consideration:

Invest in the stock market
Invest in commercial property
Invest in tax-deferred plans
Invest in insurance products

Some investments can be liquidated faster than others when you need income. Others have penalties depending on when and how much income you collect. Your financial planner can help you diversify your investments so you have an assortment of options to grow your money and collect it when you need it.

Investments are one of many tools you can use to secure your income for the future and plan for your end-of-life needs. Making small, simple investments over time will render big and important rewards when you need them most. These investments become assets that add to your estate and become part of your legacy from a life well lived.

Parents and Divorce: Protecting Your Kids in Case You Die

Protecting your children after your death is vital. Generally, if one parent dies, the other assumes full legal and physical custody without any issues. If both parents perish, a will can determine custody. What happens when a divorced parent passes away?

Divorce can be messy. Not everyone has an amicable co-parenting situation. Sometimes divorced parents don’t share custody of children equally for safety reasons. Sometimes an absent parent is unable or unwilling to parent effectively. Sometimes an absent parent does not have the proper home or income to be a full time custodian.

In the cases where an absent parent is not the ideal primary care giver, it may make sense to create documentation to legally support your custody wishes. It may also make sense to put fiscal parameters in place to support your children financially no matter who has physical custody.

If you can’t support the idea of an ex having primary custody for valid reasons – not simply due to disliking them – you can make a guardian recommendation in your last will and testament. Be sure to list and provide evidence why you are naming the guardian and make sure your will is notarized and that the guardian has their own copy. If your decision is contested, your child may be appointed an attorney to represent them in a custody hearing.

Often times a grandparent will be named as successor guardian. It is important to know that while grandparents are vital for the development and support of a child, there are no built-in grandparent rights. It is important that you take steps to name the people you desire to have access to your children in the event of your death and advocate for their relationship via your will. This will carry great weight with the court.

You may also safeguard your assets and financial support for your children by naming a guardian or fiscal payee other than your ex-spouse to manage funds and make financial decisions on your behalf. Your attorney or financial planner will have information about how to set up a trust or other fiduciary protection.

If you are divorced and do not have a positive relationship with your ex, it is important to safeguard your wishes and protect your child if you die. Take steps to secure their custody and financial stability so you can rest easy knowing they are well cared for.