Conquering Fear – How To Fight Your Phobia

By Roz Jones

Being a caregiver can be a scary thing, especially when we are new to the field.  The guide shares a few ideas for conquering some of those fears and phobias when taking care of a loved one once and for all! Please note, the fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia) is used as an example – though the steps are applicable to any fear. 

1. Expose yourself to fear. 

If you have a phobia, you probably go out of your way to avoid the thing that causes you to feel afraid. In the claustrophobia example, you may refuse to use lifts, as they make you feel uncomfortable.  

Unfortunately, by avoiding the scenario you fear – the lift – you are actually increasing your overall fear. Avoidance does nothing but make a situation worse, and you need to face the fear before you can conquer it. That means getting into a lift, even if just for one floor. Make yourself do it.  

2. Positive reinforcement. 

After you have forced yourself to confront your fear once, you need to make it a positive experience. This can be having a dessert you enjoy following your ordeal, or buying something nice from your favorite store. Do this as soon as possible following your first attempt to confront the fear – in the example, you should dive into a cupcake the second you step out of the lift. As a caregiver, you should always show your support to your loved one as much as possible. Let them know you understand their fear, and that you are there to help them conquer it. If you are the one experiencing fear, let your loved one know and ask them for their love and support while you conquer it.

3. Rinse, and repeat. 

The way to conquer a phobia is to do the above, over and over again. As you do so, you will learn to manage the fear, and you will also learn that there really is no danger in what panicked you. By continuing to deliberately expose yourself to your fear, and then allowing a congratulatory moment when you succeed, over time, you will rid yourself of the fear forever. Be a team! The caregiver and the loved one receiving care can help each other conquer their fears, together.

Overcoming fear can be intimidating. In order to be the best caregiver you can be, conquering your fears are a must! If you need guidance on how to do this, you need to pre-order my new book, Lifted. It will include a workbook that will help you work through each step.

Traits of Self-Disciplined People

By: Roz Jones

Whether you’re looking for a metric of how self-disciplined you are or you’re looking for some habits that you should form to be more self-disciplined, you should know that self-disciplined people have certain traits in common.

Not all self-disciplined people are the same and there are other traits that it wouldn’t hurt you to develop as you work toward your own self-discipline. Still, here are five of the most important traits of self-disciplined people.

  1. They Respect And Chase Their Passions

Self-discipline can be, well, a discipline. It doesn’t have to be, however. If you have something that you’re truly passionate about, you won’t have to push yourself to do it because you’ll want to do it and do it well.

If you have trouble keeping yourself working, it could just be that you aren’t truly passionate about what you’re doing. It could help to take a second look at what you’re doing. It must be important to someone, so maybe it can be important to you. Alternatively, it may just be time to keep your eyes open for opportunities to do something that you care more about.

  1. They Power Through

Even if you do something that you are passionate about, sometimes you just don’t feel productive. This is when better self-discipline can come in handy.

Another trait of self-disciplined people is that they are able to remain at work when they don’t feel productive. This may sound like all of self-discipline but it’s really just one aspect of it.

If you can’t work when you don’t feel productive, it can be hard to train yourself to it. Try to find things that make time more bearable for you, like focusing on what you’re doing instead of how long you’ve been doing it or have left to do it. Or, look at time in smaller blocks like working from now until your next break instead of from now until the end of the day. Having a cup of tea is a healthy snack or listening to music while you work can also help the time go by more pleasantly.

  1. They Manage Their Emotions

Self-discipline isn’t just about working, it’s also about how you carry yourself around others. If you think of someone who has no self-discipline, perhaps a spoiled child or an unruly rock star, you don’t think about how little they work, you think about how they behave.

Self-discipline is very much about not “acting out” your emotions. This can be important to prevent you from snapping at people you are mad at, but it can also prevent you from snapping out at people you aren’t mad at just because you’re mad.

Doing this can mean learning how to calm yourself down, learning how to vent your emotions in healthy ways, or at least learning how to communicate to people when you are in a bad mood so that they understand that you aren’t mad at them.

  1. They Understand Their Emotions

On that note, self-discipline is also very much about self-knowledge and self-control. In order to maintain your self-discipline, you need to understand how you act when you aren’t watching – so to speak.

For this reason, mindfulness meditation can be very helpful for self-disciplined people because it increases self-awareness by helping you to understand your feelings and thought processes.

  1. They Understand Their Environment

Finally, self-disciplined people are usually also very aware of those around them. Self-discipline is a very personal thing, but it is also very much about the way in which you interact with your environment. As a result, understanding and appreciating your environment can help you to practice self-discipline. If you don’t understand or care about your environment, why should you bother monitoring how you impact it?

Self-discipline is a scary term because we think of “discipline” as punishment. This is unfortunate because self-discipline doesn’t have to be painful and is more about awareness than it is about austerity. It’s also about developing your passion so that you are more excited to do your part.

Ways to Control How You React Towards Difficult People

By: Roz Jones

As caregivers we all have to deal with difficult people from time to time, but it’s how you deal with them that matters. Dealing with difficult people is all about control. If you maintain control of how you react towards these people, you keep control of the situation, not allowing those difficult people to win.

In this article, we’re going to cover the five steps you can take to control how you react towards these incessantly difficult people. 

1) Slow down and take a deep breath

It may sound cheesy, but this advice is given so often for a reason. If you slow down and take the time to take a deep breath, you’re allowing yourself not only time to calm down, but also time to consider your actions. When you react quickly without thinking, you tend to overreact and cause more harm than good.

When forced to deal with difficult people, take this time to slow down and consider how you will react to the situation. Don’t just react quickly, control it.

2) Weigh out your reaction

The best way to control how you will react to difficult people is to weigh out the potential consequences of each reaction you could have. This allows you to fully think through and control how you react to these difficult people. Make sure you give yourself the time to do this; otherwise, you might regret what you say or how you handle the situation.

It’s crucial to keep in mind that every action has consequences, be it their initial difficult action or your reaction. You have to weigh these consequences as best you can and make a decision on how you’ll react to these difficult people.

3) Keep calm

The only way you’ll be able to control your reaction to difficult people is by keeping calm. If you let your emotions get in the way and overreact to these situations, you lose complete control. You will no longer be able to control how you react to difficult people. You have to remain calm in these situations in order to keep control.

4) Step away

You have to step away from the situation and allow yourself time to adjust and react. Stepping away from the issue and giving yourself the space to calm down and analyze how you’ll react will allow you to keep control of it. This will help you to keep control of the situation and how you handle the difficult person before you.

5) Know when to walk away

The last step in controlling how you react to difficult people is knowing when to walk away from the situation. If you aren’t getting anywhere with the difficult person and the situation just seems to worsen, it’s time to walk away. 

There’s no use wasting your time and breath on a difficult person that won’t budge. It will only cause yourself more stress and harm than it’s worth. Know when it’s time to walk away and do just that. If you aren’t getting anywhere, there’s no use trying.

Dealing with difficult people is, unfortunately, a necessary part of life. However, how you deal with it is entirely up to you. You are in complete control of how you react towards difficult people, you just have to realize it. We hope that this list will help you to strengthen your ability to control your reactions.

As you go through this, keep in mind that you need to keep calm and maintain control. You have the power to control how you react and when you walk away; exercise and strengthen that power.

Rational Reactions to Challenging Situations

By: Roz Jones

Rational and reasonable, at least linguistically, are synonymous. In fact, Webster uses these words to help define each other. 

Rational- Having or exercising the ability to reason: Of sound mind: Consistent with or based on reason (Webster’s New Riverside University Dictionary, 1984).

Reason: Within the bounds of common sense. Not extreme or excessive. The capacity for rational thought, inference, or discrimination (Websters New Riverside University Dictionary, 1984)

Our emotions are a reflection of our perceptions of what’s going on around us, and in turn they lead us to externally display one or more patterns of behavior in reaction to that stimuli. In any given situation, our emotions are going to have an impact in how we react. 

When these situations are especially challenging it can be difficult to maintain rational thought patterns and behavior within the confines of reason; as portrayed by Portia. 

If this were true, then should I know this secret. 

I grant I am a woman; but withal 

A woman that Lord Brutus took to wife: 

I grant I am a woman; but withal 

A woman well-reputed, Cato’s daughter. 

Think you I am no stronger than my sex, 

Being so father’d and so husbanded? 

 Tell me your counsels, I will not disclose ’em: 

I have made strong proof of my constancy, 

Giving myself a voluntary wound 

Here, in the thigh: can I bear that with patience. 

And not my husband’s secrets?

(The Tragedy Of Julius Caesar. (n.d.). Retrieved from Opensource Shakespeare:

Even though stabbing yourself in the leg is neither reasonable nor recommended, this one scene of Portia’s highlights the major points of remaining rational during a challenging situation. 

  • Remaining calm in a high-pressure situation
  • Maintain rational detachment
  • Be attentive
  • Recognize your limits
  • Be mindful of your own actions

Remain calm

Notice how Portia isn’t yelling and screaming at Brutus. She’s completely calm. She knows Brutus is up to something because she can clearly see the effect it’s having on him physically, how it’s weighing him down, so when she confronts Brutus and puts herself in this situation, she remains completely calm.

Maintain rational detachment 

Portia refers to her breeding and her choice of husband here as well. She’s calmly bringing up her, basically, credentials as she sees them. She has some authority here, though not very much, but she’s using what she has rather than taking the situation personally. Although she speaks about how Brutus’s treatment of her is affecting her personally, she’s not expressing that in an overtly emotional way in this particular scene. 

Portia is attempting to diffuse a situation that Brutus is in, and she know that if she reacts emotionally to the personal hurt, then she’ll get nowhere. Instead, she states her case with a degree of rational detachment. 

Be Attentive

Portia chose this particular moment in the garden with Brutus because she thought it to be a good time to address their situation. She’s mindful of her surroundings, and attentive to his current situation. 

Recognize your limits

Portia understands the limits of her standing as a woman in her society. Rather than making herself out to be too important to leave out of the equation, she pleads her case with Brutus by shining a light on her social and physical limitations, or rather, her limits as Brutus may see them as a man- even if she does mock his point of view just a tad bit. 

When she stabs herself in the leg, she recognizes that it’s painful, and addresses this fact in an attempt to portray her rational state of mind as a strength. Her use of her physical and social limits reflects a stoic, and rational, state of mind even though she’s probably very distraught. 

Be mindful of your own actions. 

Again, Portia is mindful of the fact that she’s basically ambushed Brutus just before he’s about to do something regretful. She doesn’t know exactly what he’s involved in, but she does have a feeling that it’s something horrible.

She’s completely mindful of her actions of ambushing Brutus, kneeling at his feet to beg, using every one of her tools in her arsenal to convince him to succumb to her will, even stabbing herself. At every phase she remains completely calm, and rational in her thoughts and actions. 

Rational thinking is the ability to consider all of the relevant variables in any given situation. Reacting rationally implies that your actions are a direct result of rational thought, even if some actions seem unreasonable. 

Portia’s display of feminine wiles in this scene depicts the Stoic philosophy of her day, and although it’s a play, it’s a perfect example of all of the components of rational behavior during challenging situations. 

Obviously, stabbing yourself is never reasonable. Remember that this is an artistic expression from Shakespeare, so certain components were included with the express purpose of highlighting the mistakes Brutus made. However, the principal stands. Rational behavior is best deployed in highly stressful situations, even if others like Brutus, do not behave rationally themselves.

How Better Self-Care Can Lead To Success

By: Roz Jones

Self-care is often brushed aside for things seen as more important; business meetings, social commitments, family obligations. While these things are important (and can in some cases contribute to self-care), it is important that we take time to ourselves when we need it. This personal investment will not be for nothing; in fact, self-care is important if we want to optimize our performance in any area of our lives. Taking the time to maintain our physical, emotional and mental health can lead to success in many ways.

Helps us to maintain perspective

Self-care, regardless of the form, allows us the time to reflect and therefore better understand ourselves as individuals. We are better able to identify our triggers and put things in to perspective, rearranging our priorities to understand what is important and what isn’t. This perspective contributes to a healthier life as we understand where stress is justified and where we should be more relaxed.

Helps us to keep positive

Self-care is great for our mental and emotional wellbeing. People who invest time in taking care of themselves are more likely to be more optimistic and see the silver linings in bad situations. It is an effective way for maintaining positive moods, rather than succumbing to darker emotions.

Improves our relationships

By investing time in ourselves, we are better placed to interact with and support others. Self-care allows us to maintain our own health and therefore put us in a good place to be able to engage with others and maintain strong relationships. 

Improves our work performance

While self-care is sometimes seen as indulgent, it often has a much broader impact that goes beyond our own lives. People who invest in self-care are more likely to be healthier, both physically and mentally, and are therefore better prepared to perform at work. They are likely to be more focused, more emotionally stable and form stronger, more positive relationships. All of these things are highly beneficial in the workplace and will lead to greater performance.

It does take time to invest in self-care, although the benefits far outweigh the price. Take the time to establish a good routine that includes self-care practices, whatever this looks like to you, and you will be sure to reap the rewards. Self-care is an important component of maintaining good health and should not be overlooked or disregarded.