Conquering Fear – How To Fight Your Phobia

By Roz Jones

Being a caregiver can be a scary thing, especially when we are new to the field.  The guide shares a few ideas for conquering some of those fears and phobias when taking care of a loved one once and for all! Please note, the fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia) is used as an example – though the steps are applicable to any fear. 

1. Expose yourself to fear. 

If you have a phobia, you probably go out of your way to avoid the thing that causes you to feel afraid. In the claustrophobia example, you may refuse to use lifts, as they make you feel uncomfortable.  

Unfortunately, by avoiding the scenario you fear – the lift – you are actually increasing your overall fear. Avoidance does nothing but make a situation worse, and you need to face the fear before you can conquer it. That means getting into a lift, even if just for one floor. Make yourself do it.  

2. Positive reinforcement. 

After you have forced yourself to confront your fear once, you need to make it a positive experience. This can be having a dessert you enjoy following your ordeal, or buying something nice from your favorite store. Do this as soon as possible following your first attempt to confront the fear – in the example, you should dive into a cupcake the second you step out of the lift. As a caregiver, you should always show your support to your loved one as much as possible. Let them know you understand their fear, and that you are there to help them conquer it. If you are the one experiencing fear, let your loved one know and ask them for their love and support while you conquer it.

3. Rinse, and repeat. 

The way to conquer a phobia is to do the above, over and over again. As you do so, you will learn to manage the fear, and you will also learn that there really is no danger in what panicked you. By continuing to deliberately expose yourself to your fear, and then allowing a congratulatory moment when you succeed, over time, you will rid yourself of the fear forever. Be a team! The caregiver and the loved one receiving care can help each other conquer their fears, together.

Overcoming fear can be intimidating. In order to be the best caregiver you can be, conquering your fears are a must! If you need guidance on how to do this, you need to pre-order my new book, Lifted. It will include a workbook that will help you work through each step.

Are You Productive or Just Busy?

By Roz Jones

Have you ever observed someone who seems to be busy all the time, but doesn’t really get anything done?  Do you feel that sometimes you’re in the same boat?  How do you know if you’re productive or just busy? It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the everyday tasks when taking care of a loved one. As a caregiver it’s important that we manage our time efficiently, not only to give proper care to our loved one, but to also make the necessary time to take care of ourselves.

Do you have goals?  People who are productive generally have goals and focus all of their work on achieving those goals. Of course there are always going to be distractions and obstacles when taking care of a loved one but those distractions don’t take priority over the big picture.

Do you focus or multi-task?  People who multi-task often seem very busy.  They’re always doing something, but they’re rarely doing any one thing very well. Tackle each obstacle you face as a caregiver directly, you’ll be more productive if you focus on doing one thing at a time.

Do you delegate?  Sometimes you may take on tasks that would really be better to delegate to someone else. It can be easy to want to say yes to every task because you want to provide for your loved one. But you might be able to delegate personal tasks while keeping the focus on business tasks. This will improve the quality of care given to your loved one, and minimize the personal burnout you feel as a caregiver.

Do you say no?  People who are productive know how to say no to something that is going to take them away from their own important work.  It’s okay to say no when you really don’t have time to fit in one more thing. Don’t feel guilty when saying no to certain tasks related to your loved one. Instead, feel reassured knowing that this will benefit both of you in the long run.

Do you let some things go?  It may sound counterproductive to erase some tasks from your to-do list.  But you may find that you have given yourself tasks that really won’t move your vision forward and will take up extra time.  It’s okay to scratch something off the list and go a different way.

Do you have a schedule?  People who are productive tend to have a schedule for each day of what needs to be done and when.  If you’re not planning ahead, chances are you’re staying busy but not productive.

Do you complete projects?  You can be busy doing something all day long, every day and never get a project completed.  If you find you’re starting a lot of things without finishing them, it’s time to look at your priorities and become more productive.

Do you feel peace?  When you spend your time very busy but not accomplishing much you might feel a sense of anxiety. You may worry about all the things you need to do that aren’t getting done. Try as best as you can to remain present in each moment. Rather than expressing a sense of anxiety, this will help you express gratitude appreciating the time you get to spend with your loved one.

But when you’re productive, you can actually feel peace when it comes to work.  You know what’s important and you have a plan to get it done on time. 

It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the everyday tasks when taking care of a loved one. As a caregiver it’s crucial that we manage our time efficiently. Not only to provide the utmost of quality care to our loved one but to also make the necessary time to take care of ourselves. If you are struggling with how to manage your time, you need to pre-order my new book, Lifted. It will include a workbook that will help you work through each step!

Build Calluses In Your Mind And Withstand The Toughest Challenges

By Roz Jones

As a caregiver, you will face challenges, failures, setbacks, and disappointments. How you deal with these obstacles will determine the outcome. Mental toughness separates those who fail to meet challenges and quit from ones who don’t. If your mind is trained to withstand whatever test comes, nothing will be too hard to overcome. If you train your mind right, you will bounce back from every failure and withstand difficulties. Nothing will be strong enough to keep you down.

6 ways to build mental toughness and withstand the toughest challenges.

  1. Have a clearly defined life purpose.

   Knowing your purpose in life and staying true to it each day will help you to build mental toughness. It will give you the strength you need to withstand the toughest challenges because you know what you intend to accomplish. You know that problem you have, no matter how difficult, is just another bump on the road. 

When you work towards your main aim each day, you boost your self-confidence and renew your hope. You train your mind to remain focused because you know where you want to be. So, have a clearly defined life purpose and take action every day so you can build mental resilience and withstand every challenge.

  1. Continue to improve your skills.

  The best way to cultivate mental toughness is by improving your skills. When trials come and you feel there is no way out, don’t give up. Continue to live. Keep doing more of what you are good at. What you love. This will help your mind to focus more on the positive side of things and less on the negative. If you continue to work on your skills while going through challenges, you will be surprised how fast your mind heals, discovers solutions, and helps you to overcome. 

  1. Control your emotions and thoughts. 

   Get rid of “This is unbearable” “I don’t have enough strength to face this” and “I just don’t feel like fighting anymore” because entertaining such thoughts causes your brain to think there is no way out. You will not find the strength you need to endure because you believe and confess that you are not strong enough. So, control your emotions and thoughts. Have the right attitude amid your struggles. Say “This will pass” “I will win this fight” and “I have endured and overcome worse things in the past” because sometimes all you need to face your battles is the right attitude.

  1. Build meaningful relationships

   Building meaningful relationships and having a strong support system is the key to cultivating mental toughness. Therefore, surround yourself with the right people. Be around optimistic people and fighters. That way, you will have somewhere to lean on when you feel you can’t go on. You will view your situation differently and sooner or later realize that you can bear with anything. 

  1. Remain optimistic despite your present situation.

   One of the main things that make it seemingly impossible to withstand trying times, especially as caregivers, is the “This isn’t going to change”mentality. When you expect only the worst and believe that turning your situation around is impossible, you are not going to gain victory. So, be hopeful despite your present situation. Trust that things are going to get better. Believe that you have what it takes to face that challenge and win. 

“Things will get better with time” “This will someday change” “I can fight this“I can do this” and “I will win” can help you to endure the toughest challenges.

  1. Be prepared for any outcome. 

   Fear of uncertainty is one of the most powerful things that force you to quit fighting when going through challenges. You don’t know whether or not things are going to work out and grow faint at the sign of defeat. Understand that enduring tests and trials means being prepared for any outcome. If you expect anything to happen and prepare yourself for change, you will survive difficulties and go through them with an “I am ready for anything” mentality. That way, when things don’t turn out the way you want them to, you will keep fighting and moving forward.
Preparing for the difficult things in life is something we never want to do, but as caregivers it is a must. If you are struggling with how to plan for yours or a loved one’s end of life, you need to pre-order my new book, Lifted. It will include a workbook that will help you work through each step.