By Roz Jones
Well, that didn’t go right.
As Caregivers we tend to walk into relationships with so much enthusiasm. We think what we’ve found is the best thing in the world, which is a heady feeling, while it lasts. Sadly, when a relationship is toxic, we’re frequently the last to know. By the time we decide it’s time to escape, our self-worth has already taken a hefty blow.
So, how do we restore positive feelings about ourselves as Caregivers after toxic relationships?
Release Your Victimhood
The more we focus on what happened, the more we get stuck. So the sooner we can quit revisiting the past and dwelling on perceptions of ill treatment from loved ones and clients, the sooner we can put all of this behind us. This doesn’t mean to say anything was your fault, but obsessing about the ‘shoulds’ and going back over every encounter only hurts us regardless of whether we were in the right or not.
Drop the Blame
Was it your fault? No. The sooner we can let go of any residual guilt or bad feelings about the relationship, the happier we’ll be. This next step should help.
Silence Their Voice
The problem with toxic relationships is we tend to believe what the other person said about us, no matter how outlandish it seemed at the time. Now their voice is there, lurking in our heads to remind us of all of our so-called shortcomings at every opportunity—time to tell them to shut up once and for all!
Embrace the New You
Find joy in the severed relationship. Do the things you would miss doing. Take lessons, build your skill set as you build yourself up. Become your own best friend in a way that doesn’t require validation from any outside source.
Believe Your Friends
You hear the compliments, but they’re going in one ear and out the other. Rather than brushing off the nice things, people around you are saying, start listening. Listen until these words become a part of who you are.
Create Goals You Love
What would you like to do with your life? Too often, our goals reflect the needs and desires of our clients and loved ones. Now is the time to reverse this. Accept you are capable, and your goals are worth fighting for, what do YOU want to do?
Work through the worst offenders of negative self-talk through positive affirmations. Take note of what you’re telling yourself. Rewrite the script and turn these statements around into affirmations that you read to yourself every day.
Remember, this is a process and is likely to take time. By reminding yourself of just how amazing you are, and focusing hard on these steps, eventually, you will start feeling the difference even if you don’t see it yet. Hang in there!
Are you a Caregiver taking care of two loved ones? Check out my latest podcast to hear from Caregiver, Christine Psalms and how she takes care of both of her parents!
ATTENTION: INSTAGRAM UPDATE!!!
Thank you for your patience with me as I attempted to gain access to my Instagram account @rozjonesenterprises! Unfortunately, I have been prompted to create a NEW Instagram account.
Be sure to follow my new Instagram page @rozcaregiverconsulting and check out my top business mistakes as a Business Owner!
(Click the link above to access my new Instagram page with ease!)