Rest is Part of the Care Plan

By Roz Jones

Caregivers are often praised for how much they are able to carry. But over time, this level of responsibility can make rest feel unrealistic.

A caregiver may believe that stepping away will create more work, cause unnecessary disruption, or leave an aging loved one feeling abandoned. Even when respite care is available, guilt and worry may prevent the caregiver from using it.

However, rest should not be treated as something separate from caregiving. It is part of creating a care plan that can continue without sacrificing the caregiver’s physical health, emotional well-being, and ability to remain fully present.

Respite care offers more than time away from responsibility. When thoughtfully planned, it can create greater stability for the entire family.

Respite Care Should Begin Before a Crisis

Many caregivers wait until they are physically exhausted or emotionally overwhelmed before seeking additional support. By that point, the need for relief may be urgent, and the family may have little time to research options, prepare the aging loved one, or choose a provider carefully.

Respite care is often more effective when it is introduced before the caregiver reaches a breaking point.

Planning early gives families time to consider what kind of support is needed, how often it may be used, and who can provide care safely. It also allows the aging loved one to become familiar with another caregiver before an emergency requires the primary caregiver to step away unexpectedly.

A caregiver should not have to become ill, miss important medical appointments, or experience severe burnout before receiving help.

Respite can be used for a few hours, an overnight stay, a weekend, or a longer period, depending on the family’s needs and available resources. It may be provided in the home, through an adult day program, within a residential care setting, or by a trusted relative or friend.

Introducing respite gradually can make the transition easier for everyone involved.

Choose Support Based on the Care Required

Not every respite option will be appropriate for every aging loved one.

Some individuals may need companionship and help with meals. Others may require assistance with mobility, personal care, medication reminders, medical equipment, memory loss, or behavioral changes. The person providing respite must understand the level of responsibility involved.

Before selecting support, caregivers should clearly identify what the aging loved one needs throughout the day.

This includes the tasks that must be completed, but it should also include the routines, preferences, and details that help the person feel comfortable.

An aging loved one may prefer breakfast at a certain time, enjoy a particular television program, become anxious when the house is too quiet, or need additional time to complete personal care. Someone living with dementia may respond better to familiar language, music, or routines.

These details can help the respite provider offer care that feels more personal and less disruptive.

Families should also ask about the provider’s experience, training, availability, emergency procedures, and ability to manage the loved one’s specific needs. When professional respite care is being considered, caregivers may want to request references and learn how the provider screens and supervises staff.

The purpose is not only to find someone who is available. It is to find support that allows the caregiver to step away with greater confidence.

Prepare the Aging Loved One for the Change

An aging loved one may not immediately understand why someone else is providing care.

They may feel uncomfortable with a new person in the home, worry that the caregiver is leaving permanently, or interpret the decision as a sign that they have become a burden. These concerns may be especially difficult for someone experiencing memory loss, anxiety, or changes in routine.

Caregivers can reduce some of this uncertainty by discussing respite care before it begins.

The explanation should match the loved one’s level of understanding. Emphasize that the caregiver is taking a short break or completing another responsibility and will return. Introduce the respite provider in advance whenever possible and allow the aging loved one to become familiar with them while the primary caregiver is still present.

The first visit may be brief. The respite provider might share a meal, participate in a familiar activity, or spend time learning the daily routine.

A gradual introduction can help build trust.

The aging loved one should also be included in appropriate decisions. They may have preferences about who assists with personal care, what activities they would like to do, or where respite should take place.

Being included can make the change feel less like something being done to them and more like part of a care arrangement designed with their comfort in mind.

Create a Clear Respite Care Guide

A caregiver may know an aging loved one’s routine so well that many details are handled automatically. Another person will not have that same knowledge.

A written respite care guide can reduce confusion and help the provider respond more confidently.

The guide should include important contact information, medication instructions, meal preferences, mobility needs, allergies, medical conditions, emergency procedures, and the location of essential supplies.

It may also include the aging loved one’s daily schedule, preferred activities, communication style, and behaviors that may signal pain, anxiety, fatigue, or confusion.

For example, an aging loved one may become quiet when uncomfortable rather than asking for help. Another may repeat questions when feeling anxious. Someone with memory loss may become distressed if they cannot see the primary caregiver and may need calm reassurance rather than repeated correction.

These details can improve the quality of the respite experience and reduce the likelihood that the primary caregiver will receive repeated calls for information during the break.

The guide should be reviewed regularly as medications, routines, and care needs change.

Important information should not remain only in the caregiver’s memory.

Start With Shorter Periods of Respite

Caregivers who have been responsible for nearly every part of an aging loved one’s care may find it difficult to step away for an extended period.

Beginning with a shorter break can help build trust in the respite arrangement.

The caregiver may start with an hour to attend an appointment, take a walk, meet a friend, or sit quietly somewhere outside the home. As the aging loved one and respite provider become more comfortable with each other, the length of time can gradually increase.

Shorter visits also give the caregiver an opportunity to identify missing instructions, notice how the aging loved one responds, and determine whether the respite provider is a good fit.

The first experience does not have to be perfect.

There may be questions, adjustments, and moments of discomfort. These do not necessarily mean respite care will not work. They may simply show where the plan needs to be clarified or changed.

Building a reliable respite arrangement is often a process rather than a single decision.

Expect Guilt Without Letting It Make the Decision

Caregiver guilt can remain even when respite care is safe, necessary, and thoughtfully planned.

A caregiver may feel guilty for enjoying time away, especially if the aging loved one cannot participate in the same activity. They may worry that others will judge them or believe they should be able to continue without assistance.

Some caregivers may spend the entire break checking their phones, reviewing instructions, or thinking about what may be going wrong at home. They may return before the agreed time because resting feels more uncomfortable than continuing to provide care.

These feelings are common, but they should not determine whether the caregiver receives support.

Taking a break does not mean the caregiver loves the aging loved one less. It does not erase their commitment or make them irresponsible.

Caregiving requires energy, patience, decision-making, and emotional steadiness. Those abilities are harder to maintain when the caregiver is consistently depleted.

Guilt may appear during the first few respite experiences, but it can become easier to manage as the caregiver sees that the aging loved one can remain safe and supported while someone else helps.

Respite care is not a failure of devotion. It is an acknowledgment that quality care should not depend on one person being available every hour of every day.

Use Respite Time for What Is Actually Needed

Caregivers may feel pressure to use respite time productively.

They may schedule errands, clean the house, catch up on paperwork, or complete tasks that have been delayed. While these responsibilities may need attention, respite should not always become another work period.

The most helpful use of the time depends on what the caregiver needs most.

One caregiver may need uninterrupted sleep. Another may need to attend a medical appointment, spend time with friends, exercise, worship, go to therapy, or simply sit somewhere without listening for another person’s call.

Rest will not look the same for everyone.

A meaningful break does not have to be exciting or carefully planned. Its value comes from allowing the caregiver to step out of a constant state of responsibility.

Caregivers should also avoid filling every available respite hour with obligations simply because the time exists. Returning to care more exhausted than before defeats the purpose of the break.

Respite should create space for renewal, not another list of expectations.

Make Respite Part of the Regular Routine

Using respite only during emergencies can make each break feel unfamiliar and difficult.

Regularly scheduled respite may offer more stability for both the caregiver and aging loved one. The loved one can become familiar with the provider and begin to understand the routine. The caregiver can plan appointments, rest, and personal activities without waiting until exhaustion becomes severe.

Consistency may also help the caregiver recognize respite as a normal part of the care plan rather than a last resort.

The schedule does not have to be extensive. A few hours each week, twice a month, or at another manageable interval may provide meaningful relief.

The appropriate frequency will depend on the caregiver’s responsibilities, the aging loved one’s care needs, available resources, and the level of support provided by others.

Families should review the arrangement over time. An aging loved one’s needs may increase, the caregiver’s work schedule may change, or the original respite provider may no longer be available.

A sustainable plan must be flexible enough to grow with the caregiving situation.

Include Family Members in the Respite Plan

Professional respite care may not be the only source of support.

Relatives and trusted friends may be able to participate when responsibilities are clearly defined. One person may provide companionship for a few hours, while another handles transportation, prepares a meal, or stays overnight.

Family members may hesitate because they do not know what to do or believe the primary caregiver prefers to manage everything. Vague requests for help may also be difficult to respond to.

Specific requests can make participation more realistic.

Instead of asking someone to help more, the caregiver might ask whether they can stay with the aging loved one on the first Saturday of each month, provide transportation to one regular appointment, or sit with them for two hours while the caregiver attends therapy.

Clear expectations help others understand what is needed and whether they are able to commit.

Family support should still be based on the aging loved one’s comfort and safety. A relative who loves the person may not have the skills required to manage complex medical or personal care needs.

Each person should be given responsibilities they can handle reliably.

Prepare a Backup Before Respite Is Urgently Needed

Even a dependable care arrangement can change.

A provider may become ill. A family member may have a conflict. An adult day program may close temporarily. The aging loved one’s condition may change and require a different level of support.

Caregivers should identify more than one possible respite option whenever resources allow.

A backup plan may include another professional provider, a trusted family member, an agency, an adult day program, or a short-term residential care option.

Families should also know what support may be available through local aging services, caregiver organizations, faith communities, veterans’ programs, insurance benefits, or community agencies.

Researching these options can take time. Completing the work before a crisis allows the caregiver to make decisions more carefully.

The caregiver should not have to begin searching for help at the exact moment they are no longer able to continue.

Rest Protects the Relationship

Caregiving can change the relationship between the caregiver and aging loved one.

Conversations may become focused on medications, appointments, safety, and daily tasks. The caregiver may begin to feel more like a manager than a family member. The aging loved one may feel that every interaction is connected to something they need help doing.

Exhaustion can intensify this change. A depleted caregiver may become less patient, more easily frustrated, or emotionally distant, even when they are doing everything possible to provide good care.

Respite creates an opportunity for the caregiver to return with more emotional space.

The break may make it easier to sit together without rushing, listen more patiently, or enjoy an activity that is not centered on care. It can help restore parts of the relationship that daily responsibilities have pushed aside.

Respite does not only protect the caregiver’s health.

It may also protect the relationship from becoming defined entirely by the demands of caregiving.

A Strong Care Plan Includes Relief

Caregivers do not prove their love by becoming exhausted.

They do not have to wait until their health begins to decline before accepting support. They do not have to manage every responsibility personally for the care to be thoughtful and meaningful.

A strong care plan prepares for the aging loved one’s needs while also recognizing the caregiver’s limits.

Respite care creates room for rest, medical care, relationships, reflection, and life outside the caregiving role. It gives another trusted person an opportunity to learn the aging loved one’s routine and creates a support system that may become especially valuable during an emergency.

The most sustainable caregiving arrangements are not built around one person doing everything.

They are built around preparation, communication, shared responsibility, and the understanding that rest is part of providing care well.

For an introduction to respite care and the benefits it can provide, read the previous blog, The Power of Respite Care: A Guide for Caregivers During National Respite Care Month.

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What to Know About the Cost of Prescriptions

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz is talking about something many seniors and caregivers are feeling at the pharmacy counter: the rising cost of prescription medications.

As aging loved ones begin taking more medications, those costs can add up quickly. One prescription may not seem like much, but when there are several medications involved, the monthly total can become overwhelming for seniors, families, and caregivers trying to manage care on a fixed income.

Roz breaks down practical ways caregivers can help reduce the cost of prescriptions. She talks about asking doctors about generic medications, looking for less expensive brand-name options, using mail-order pharmacy services, reviewing Medicare drug plans during annual enrollment, and checking for state or manufacturer assistance programs.

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Give Yourself a Moment of Grace

Caregiving includes demanding days, unexpected changes, and moments of connection that may be easy to overlook. Moments of Grace offers encouragement to caregivers who need a reminder to pause and recognize the meaningful moments along the journey.

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Preparing for hurricane season?

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**3. LEARN TO:** Ask for help, accept help when it is offered, and acknowledge yourself on this caregiving journey. Hear from experts on how to balance caregiving responsibilities by taking care of your needs and involving others to help manage the natural stress and isolation of being a caregiver.

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Helping Your Family Adjust to the Back-to-School Routine

By Roz Jones

Preparing for the first day of school can bring a sense of relief. After weeks of shopping, organizing schedules, and helping children adjust to an earlier bedtime, caregivers may feel as though the hardest part is behind them.

Then the school year begins, and the family has to figure out how the new routine will work in real life.

For caregivers who are raising children while also caring for an aging loved one, the return to school can create new pressure inside an already busy household. School mornings, homework, medical appointments, meals, transportation, and caregiving responsibilities may all compete for attention. Even with careful planning, there may be days when a child needs help at the same moment an aging loved one needs care.

This does not mean the family failed to prepare. It simply means that a schedule created before school started may need to change once everyone begins living it.

The first few weeks of school are often a period of adjustment for the entire household. Children may come home tired or overwhelmed as they get used to new teachers and expectations. An aging loved one may notice that the home is quieter during the day and busier in the afternoon. The caregiver may feel pulled between helping with schoolwork, preparing dinner, managing medications, and making sure no one feels overlooked.

Finding balance during this season is not about making every day run perfectly. It is about creating a rhythm that allows the family to respond to what each person needs without expecting one caregiver to carry everything alone.

Let the Routine Develop Over Time

Families often put pressure on themselves to have the school routine figured out immediately. In reality, it may take several weeks to understand what works.

A morning schedule may appear manageable until an aging loved one needs additional assistance getting dressed or taking medication. Homework time may need to move because the child is too tired immediately after school. A medical appointment may interfere with transportation or an after-school activity.

Instead of viewing these changes as disruptions, caregivers can treat them as information. They show where the family may need more time, more support, or a different approach.

Pay attention to the parts of the day that regularly feel rushed or stressful. A small adjustment may be enough to make the routine easier. Preparing lunches the evening before may give the caregiver more time in the morning. Moving homework to a quieter part of the evening may help a child concentrate. Asking a relative to handle transportation one day each week may give the caregiver time to focus on an aging loved one’s appointment.

The routine should serve the family. The family should not feel trapped by a schedule that is no longer working.

Make Room for the Needs of Both Generations

Children and aging loved ones may need different kinds of support, but both want to feel seen.

A child may want to talk about a new teacher, a friendship, or something that happened during the school day. An aging loved one may want company after spending several hours alone. The caregiver may be trying to listen to both while also managing dinner and the evening care routine.

Not every need can be addressed at the same time. What matters is helping each person understand that their needs have not been forgotten.

A child may need a few uninterrupted minutes during the ride home or before bedtime. An aging loved one may enjoy sitting nearby during homework or hearing about the child’s day. These ordinary moments can help the family stay connected without adding another formal activity to an already full schedule.

Caregivers should also be careful not to place too much responsibility on children. Helping a grandparent with a simple task can build compassion and strengthen their relationship. However, children should not feel responsible for managing medications, responding to emergencies, or providing the level of supervision that belongs to an adult.

There is a difference between including children in family caregiving and asking them to carry responsibilities beyond their age.

Communicate Before the Family Reaches a Crisis

The school may not need to know every detail about the caregiving situation, but teachers and school staff should understand when changes at home begin affecting the child.

A difficult night with an aging loved one may leave a child tired the next morning. An unexpected medical concern may cause the family to arrive late. A child may have difficulty concentrating because they are worried about someone they love.

When caregivers communicate early, it becomes easier to ask for support when it is needed. A teacher, counselor, or school social worker may be able to offer flexibility, help the child manage stress, or connect the family with additional resources.

The same is true within the family. Relatives and friends may be willing to help, but they may not know what would make the greatest difference.

Instead of saying that things are busy, ask for something specific. Someone may be able to pick a child up from practice, bring dinner, collect a prescription, or stay with the aging loved one during a school event.

Support does not always have to involve direct caregiving. Any task another person takes on gives the caregiver more room to focus on the responsibilities that require their attention.

Prepare for the Days That Do Not Go as Planned

The school year will bring unexpected changes.

A child may wake up sick. A bus may be delayed. School may close because of severe weather. An aging loved one may need an urgent appointment on the same day as a school event.

These situations are easier to manage when the caregiver has already considered who may be available to help.

A trusted family member may be able to stay with the child. A neighbor may help with transportation. Another caregiver may know the aging loved one’s routine well enough to step in for a few hours.

No single person may be able to serve as the backup for every situation. The family may need a small group of people who can help in different ways.

Having a backup plan does not remove every challenge, but it can prevent the caregiver from having to solve each problem alone while under pressure.

Pay Attention to the Caregiver’s Capacity

Caregivers often become the person who holds the entire routine together.

They remember the school forms, medical appointments, medication schedules, grocery needs, activity times, and household responsibilities. Because so much depends on them, they may continue pushing even after the routine has become exhausting.

Caregiver overload may appear as impatience, difficulty sleeping, forgetfulness, constant worry, or the feeling that nothing is ever finished. It may also create guilt because the caregiver believes they are not giving enough attention to either the children or the aging loved one.

The truth is that no one can be fully available to everyone at every moment.

Some activities may need to be reduced. Meals may need to become simpler. Household tasks may need to wait. The family may need to accept help in ways they have not before.

Changing expectations is not the same as giving up. It may be what allows the caregiver to remain present and dependable throughout the school year.

Create a Routine That Can Change With the Family

A family’s needs will continue to change after the first day of school.

A child may join a new activity. Homework may become more demanding. An aging loved one’s care needs may increase. The caregiver’s work schedule may shift.

The routine should be reviewed regularly instead of treated as permanent.

Talk with the children about what is working. Pay attention to changes in the aging loved one’s mood and comfort. Notice whether the caregiver has enough time to rest, eat, and manage responsibilities without feeling constantly rushed.

The family may discover that some responsibilities need to move to a different time of day or be shared with someone else. Making those adjustments early can prevent frustration from becoming the normal atmosphere of the home.

Back-to-school preparation does not end once the children enter the classroom. It continues as the family learns how to balance school responsibilities with the ongoing needs of an aging loved one.

Some days will feel organized, while others may require the family to let go of the plan and respond to what is happening in the moment.

A successful school year is not one where everything happens perfectly. It is one where children feel supported, aging loved ones continue to receive thoughtful care, and caregivers are reminded that they do not have to manage every responsibility alone. Read more on this subject by reading the previous blog.

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Patient Advocacy: The Caregivers Role

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz is talking about an important role many caregivers step into without always realizing it: becoming an advocate for their loved one at the doctor’s office.

Doctor visits can feel overwhelming for both the caregiver and the aging loved one. There may be anxiety, confusion, medication changes, new symptoms, treatment options, and instructions that are hard to remember once the appointment is over. That is why caregivers need to walk in prepared, ask the right questions, and make sure they leave with clear answers.

Roz breaks down practical ways caregivers can advocate before, during, and after medical appointments. She talks about preparing ahead of time, writing down questions and concerns, tracking new symptoms or changes, taking notes during the visit, sharing updates with the care team, and making sure everyone involved in the loved one’s care is on the same page.

She also reminds caregivers not to be afraid to ask the doctor to explain things in plain language. If something is unclear, uncomfortable, or confusing, caregivers have the right and responsibility to ask questions. Roz also encourages families to understand treatment options, possible side effects, medication changes, and how each decision may affect their loved one’s independence and daily routine.

This episode is a practical reminder that advocacy is part of caregiving. It is not enough to just show up at the appointment. Caregivers need to listen, take notes, ask questions, review medications, and help coordinate between doctors, specialists, and the full care team.

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Don’t Wait Until the Storm is Coming

Caregivers should also be prepared for emergencies that may affect the home and the loved one’s care routine. The Caregiver Hurricane Preparedness Checklist helps families organize medications, medical equipment, emergency contacts, important documents, and evacuation plans before a storm arrives.

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Need Help Sorting Through the Care Plan?

Roz Jones is a dedicated caretaker turned CEO with over a decade of experience in helping families care for and make decisions for loved ones and their legacies.Roz is a compassionate, innovative healthcare industry leader.

If your family needs help thinking through care decisions, caregiving responsibilities, or next steps, book a session with Roz Jones. You do not have to navigate this season alone.

Together, we can talk through what is working, what is becoming too heavy, and what boundaries need to be strengthened so you can continue to care without losing yourself in the process.

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When Hospice Begins, Caregivers Need Holding Too

By Roz Jones

Hospice care often begins when a family has already carried a long season of appointments, decisions, treatments, questions, and emotional weight.

By the time hospice becomes part of the conversation, caregivers may already be tired. They may have spent months or years coordinating care, managing symptoms, listening for changes, updating family members, and trying to keep the home steady. Hospice does not erase that weight. It brings a different kind of care, a different kind of support, and a different kind of emotional preparation.

For many families, hospice is misunderstood.

Some hear the word and feel fear. Some hear the word and think it means giving up. Some delay the conversation because they do not want to face what may be changing. But hospice care is not about abandoning a loved one. Hospice is about comfort, dignity, support, and making sure the person receiving care and the family surrounding them are not left to carry the final season alone.

And that includes the caregiver.

Family caregivers play a vital role during hospice care. They are often the ones noticing changes first. They are the ones calling the nurse, giving updates, managing the home, comforting the loved one, and helping the family understand what is happening. They may be present for difficult conversations, quiet moments, emotional shifts, and physical changes that are hard to witness.

That kind of care requires emotional support.

Not later.

Now.

Hospice Care Changes the Caregiver’s Role

When hospice begins, the caregiver’s responsibilities may shift, but they do not disappear.

The focus of care may move from treatment to comfort. The medical team may become more involved. Nurses, aides, chaplains, social workers, and other hospice professionals may enter the home or care setting. Medications may change. Routines may change. Family members may begin asking more questions.

The caregiver may feel relief that help has arrived, but that relief can exist alongside sadness, fear, guilt, uncertainty, and grief.

This is why emotional support matters.

The caregiver is not only managing tasks. The caregiver is also processing what hospice means for the loved one, for the family, and for the future. There may be moments when the caregiver feels grateful for the support and moments when the reality feels too heavy to hold.

Both can be true.

A caregiver can know hospice is the right support and still grieve the reason hospice is needed.

The Emotional Weight of Watching Change

One of the hardest parts of hospice caregiving is witnessing decline.

A loved one may sleep more. They may eat less. They may speak less. Their body may change. Their needs may become more delicate. The caregiver may find themselves watching closely, wondering what each change means and whether they are doing enough.

That watching can be exhausting.

Caregivers may experience anticipatory grief, which is the grief that begins before the loss occurs. They may feel sadness while still providing care. They may feel guilt for needing rest. They may feel anger that life has changed. They may feel anxious about what comes next.

These emotions do not mean the caregiver lacks faith, love, or strength.

They mean the caregiver is human.

Emotional support gives caregivers a place to put some of what they are carrying. It creates room for honesty, tears, questions, prayer, silence, and support without judgment. It reminds caregivers that they do not have to be strong every minute in order to love well.

Caregivers Need More Than Information

Hospice teams often provide education about symptoms, medications, equipment, and what to expect. That information is important. It helps families feel less afraid when changes happen. It helps caregivers understand when to call for help and how to provide comfort.

But caregivers need more than information.

They need someone to ask how they are holding up.
They need space to say what feels hard.
They need permission to rest.
They need family members who do more than wait for updates.
They need support that reaches the caregiver, not just the care plan.

A caregiver can have all the instructions and still feel emotionally overwhelmed.

That is why families must be intentional about supporting the person providing care. Hospice care should not become another season where one caregiver carries everything while everyone else stands at a distance.

Family Support Must Become Practical

During hospice care, concern is not enough.

Family members may say, “Let me know if you need anything,” but caregivers are often too tired to assign tasks in the moment. The better approach is to offer specific, practical support.

Someone can bring meals.
Someone can sit with the loved one while the caregiver rests.
Someone can manage phone calls and family updates.
Someone can help with laundry, groceries, errands, or transportation.
Someone can stay overnight if appropriate.
Someone can help organize paperwork, emergency contacts, and important documents.

Support becomes more meaningful when it lightens the caregiver’s actual load.

This is especially important when the caregiver is also managing grief. A caregiver who is emotionally overwhelmed may not have the energy to explain every need. Family members must pay attention, step in with care, and follow through.

Hospice Support Includes the Caregiver

Hospice care is designed to support both the patient and the family.

Caregivers should use the hospice team as part of their support system. The nurse can answer questions about symptoms and medication. The social worker can help with emotional concerns, family communication, planning, and resources. The chaplain can offer spiritual care. Bereavement support may also be available before and after the loss.

Caregivers do not have to wait until they are breaking down before asking for help.

Questions are allowed.
Tears are allowed.
Uncertainty is allowed.
Needing a break is allowed.

Hospice professionals understand that this season can be tender and difficult. They can help caregivers understand what is happening and remind them that comfort care includes the emotional well-being of the family.

Self-Care During Hospice Is Not Selfish

Self-care can feel complicated during hospice.

Many caregivers feel guilty leaving the room, taking a nap, eating a full meal, or stepping outside for air. They may feel they should be available every moment. They may worry that resting means they are not doing enough.

But caregivers cannot pour from a body and spirit that have been completely drained.

Self-care during hospice may be simple. It may look like drinking water. Eating something nourishing. Sitting outside for ten minutes. Letting someone else answer the phone. Taking a shower. Praying. Writing in a journal. Listening to music. Calling a trusted friend. Accepting respite when it is offered.

These small moments matter.

They help the caregiver remain present without becoming consumed. They help the body release some of the stress. They remind the caregiver that their needs still matter, even in a difficult season.

Emotional Support Protects the Caregiver and the Care

When caregivers are emotionally supported, care becomes steadier.

The caregiver is better able to listen, respond, communicate, and make decisions. They are less likely to feel completely alone in the process. They may still feel grief and exhaustion, but they are not carrying those feelings without support.

When caregivers are not supported, the weight can become too much. Stress can turn into burnout. Sadness can become isolation. Exhaustion can affect health, patience, and decision-making. Family tension can grow when one person feels responsible for everything.

Supporting the caregiver is not separate from supporting the loved one.

It is part of the same care.

A loved one in hospice deserves comfort and dignity. The caregiver deserves compassion and support while helping provide that care.

Preparing the Family Before Crisis

Hospice care also reminds families of the importance of preparation.

The more families talk, plan, and share responsibilities, the less pressure falls on one person. Caregivers need to know who is available, who can help, what documents are needed, what the hospice team provides, and how family communication will be handled.

Preparation does not remove the grief, but it can reduce confusion.

In a previous blog, The Importance of Emotional Support for Family Caregivers During Hospice Care, we talked about the importance of having the next hospice conversation before crisis makes every decision harder. This blog continues that conversation by reminding families that emotional support for the caregiver must be part of the plan, not an afterthought.

Caregivers Should Not Be Left Alone in Hospice

Hospice is a sacred and emotional season of care.

It can hold tenderness, sorrow, gratitude, fear, peace, and uncertainty all at once. It can bring families closer, but it can also reveal where support is missing. It can give caregivers help, but families must still be willing to surround the caregiver with compassion and practical care.

No caregiver should have to walk through hospice feeling invisible.

The caregiver needs to be seen.
The caregiver needs to be supported.
The caregiver needs to be allowed to grieve.
The caregiver needs to rest.
The caregiver needs a circle of people who understand that love does not mean carrying everything alone.

Hospice care is not only about helping a loved one die with dignity.

It is also about helping the family care with compassion, honesty, and support.

And the caregiver is part of that family.

Tune in to The Caregiver Café Podcast

In the first episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz welcomes listeners into a space created to serve those caring for sick, aging, or vulnerable loved ones.

Roz shares the personal story that started her caregiving journey and how one unexpected hospital visit showed her just how quickly life can change. Through her experience, she reminds families of the importance of having documentation in order, including advance directives, healthcare surrogates, and backup support before a crisis happens.

This episode is a warm introduction to Roz, her heart for caregivers, and the purpose of The Caregiver Café: to provide resources, encouragement, and practical support that helps reduce stress, overwhelm, and safety concerns along the caregiving journey.

Pull up a chair. Roz has a seat waiting for you.

Listen to the Episode

Give Yourself a Moment of Grace

If you need encouragement for the emotional side of caregiving, purchase Roz Jones’ book, Moments of Grace. This book offers support, reflection, and reminders of grace for the caregiver who is carrying a lot.

This journal was created to help caregivers pause, breathe, reflect, and find strength in the middle of the caregiving journey.

Purchase Moments of Grace today and give yourself permission to breathe in the middle of the caregiving journey.

Purchase the Journal

Prepare Before the Emergency Comes

If you are caring for a loved one and want to be better prepared for storms, power outages, and unexpected caregiving emergencies, purchase the Caregiver Hurricane Preparedness Checklist. This resource can help you think through important details before a crisis is already at the door.

For only $1.99, this checklist gives you a simple starting point so you are not trying to gather everything during a storm, power outage, hospitalization, or sudden change in your loved one’s care.

Purchase the Caregiver Hurricane Preparedness Checklist for $1.99 today and take one more step toward peace of mind.

Grab the Checklist!

Need Help Sorting Through the Care Plan?

If your family needs help thinking through care decisions, caregiving responsibilities, or next steps, book a session with Roz Jones. You do not have to navigate this season alone.

Together, we can talk through what is working, what is becoming too heavy, and what boundaries need to be strengthened so you can continue to care without losing yourself in the process.

Book a Session!

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When Grandparents Become the Plan

By Roz Jones

Sometimes grandparents expect to be the steady presence in a child’s life.

And sometimes, without much warning, they become the primary caregivers.

That shift can happen because of a family crisis, illness, financial instability, mental health concerns, substance use, incarceration, military deployment, death, or simply because the children need a safer and more stable place to land. However it happens, when grandparents step in to raise grandchildren, they are often carrying far more than people can see. National kinship care resources note that grandparents and other relatives frequently become the first safe option for children when parents cannot care for them, often with little time to prepare.

And when that happens, the conversation cannot stop at “they stepped up.”

We also need to ask:
Who is supporting them now?

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Need More Than Praise

A lot of grandparents raising grandchildren get called strong, selfless, and loving.

And yes, many of them are all of those things.

But praise is not the same as support.

Many grandfamilies are navigating school enrollment, legal paperwork, health appointments, financial strain, transportation needs, behavior changes, grief, and the physical demands of parenting at a later stage in life. Federal and national kinship-care resources continue to emphasize that kinship caregivers often need help with both child-related and adult-related supports, including access to benefits, legal guidance, and service coordination.

So if you are someone caring for an aging loved one who is now raising grandchildren, or if you are a caregiver trying to support a grandparent in this role, this is important to understand: love may be what brought them into the role, but love alone is not enough to sustain it.

The Hidden Weight of Kinship Care

Grandparents who step into parenting again are often managing two caregiving realities at once.

They may be caring for grandchildren while also dealing with their own aging, chronic health conditions, fatigue, or financial concerns. And caregivers supporting them may find themselves trying to meet the needs of both generations at the same time.

That kind of layered care can wear people down.

The CDC reported in 2024 that caregivers, compared with noncaregivers, experienced worse outcomes on many health indicators, including mental health measures and several chronic physical conditions.

That does not mean grandparents raising grandchildren are not capable. It means they should not be expected to do this without real support.

Practical Support Still Matters

When a grandparent is raising grandchildren, practical help can make a bigger difference than people realize.

That may look like helping with grocery runs, rides to school, after-school pickup, household tasks, meal support, or help organizing medical and school paperwork. Sometimes what keeps a household stable is not one big intervention. It is consistent, everyday support that lowers the pressure just enough for a grandparent to breathe.

For caregivers supporting grandfamilies, this is one of the most useful questions to ask:

What would make this week easier?

Not next year.
Not in theory.
This week.

Because when families are overwhelmed, practical support is often what keeps things from slipping further.

Emotional Support Cannot Be an Afterthought

Grandparents raising grandchildren may feel joy, purpose, and deep love.

They may also feel grief, anger, sadness, resentment, guilt, fear, or exhaustion.

All of that can be true at the same time.

Some are grieving what their grandchildren have already been through. Some are grieving the reality that this is not the season of life they expected. Some feel isolated because their peers are traveling, retiring, or slowing down, while they are packing lunches, dealing with schools, and starting over.

Caregivers supporting them need to make room for the full emotional picture, not just the inspiring parts.

Listening without judgment matters. So does noticing when a grandparent looks burned out, shut down, depressed, or overwhelmed. Caregiving research continues to show that caregivers often experience elevated emotional strain, and grandparents raising grandchildren can face parenting stress on top of their own health and life transitions.

Support Has to Include Resources

One of the biggest mistakes families make is assuming grandparents will “figure it out.”

Some do, but often at great cost.

Grandparents raising grandchildren may need help understanding legal custody, school enrollment, insurance coverage, financial assistance, counseling options, food access, or respite support. National grandfamily resources point to kinship navigator programs as an important tool because they connect relative caregivers to benefits, services, referrals, and follow-up support for both the children and the adults caring for them.

Financial help matters too. Grandfamilies.org notes that child-only TANF grants remain a key source of support for many kinship families, but the program is still underused relative to the number of families who may qualify.

In other words, support should not stop at encouragement.
It should include helping grandparents get connected to what may already exist.

The Relationship Between Grandparent and Grandchild Still Needs Care

When grandparents become full-time caregivers, the relationship can shift fast.

Love is still there, but the role changes. A grandparent may suddenly be the rule-maker, homework checker, appointment scheduler, disciplinarian, and emotional safe place all at once. That can be hard on both sides.

Children may be carrying trauma, confusion, anger, loyalty conflicts, or grief. Grandparents may be trying to provide stability while also adjusting to the emotional weight of what brought the children into their care in the first place.

That is why support has to include the relationship itself.

Encouraging moments of connection, not just management, matters. Quality time matters. Predictability matters. Patience matters. So does helping grandparents understand that behavior is often carrying a story beneath it.

Self-Care Has to Be Reframed

Telling grandparents to “practice self-care” is not enough if no one is helping make that possible.

Rest does not happen because someone deserves it.
It happens because support is in place.

If a grandparent cannot get a break, cannot leave the house easily, is worried about money, and is carrying the emotional load of the entire household, generic self-care advice can feel disconnected from reality.

For caregivers supporting them, self-care may need to look more concrete:

Can you give them two hours to themselves?
Can you cover one evening a week?
Can you help them get connected to respite, counseling, or community support?
Can you reduce one pressure point they keep carrying alone?

That is often what real support looks like.

This Is a Family System Issue

When grandparents are raising grandchildren, the impact usually stretches across the whole family system.

There may be tension with the children’s parents. There may be legal uncertainty. There may be sibling disagreements, financial stress, or questions about who is responsible for what. And when those things go unnamed, the grandparent often ends up absorbing the strain.

That is why families need honest conversations about roles, responsibilities, expectations, and support. Not everything should fall on the grandparent just because they were willing to step in first.

Stepping in should not mean being left alone.If this topic is close to home, I encourage you to also read my previous blog, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: How the Caregiver Can Support

Schedule a Family Care Planning Session

If your family needs support talking through next steps, book a Family Care Planning Session with Roz Jones to walk through your concerns, questions, and planning needs with more clarity and care.

Book a Session!

Purchase the Caregiving & Advance Health Directives Checklist!

Roz Jones Enterprises Caregiving & Advance Health Directives Checklist.

If you want a practical tool to help guide the conversation and make these decisions feel less overwhelming, purchase the Caregiving & Advance Health Directives Checklist at the link below.

Purchase the Checklist

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