What to Do When Your Loved One Is Struggling

By Roz Jones

Recognizing that your aging loved one may be struggling emotionally is one thing. Knowing what to do with that information can feel much harder. You may notice that something has changed and still wonder whether you should bring it up. You may worry about embarrassing your loved one, making them defensive, or saying the wrong thing. If they tell you they’re feeling hopeless, lonely, or overwhelmed, you may also feel pressure to immediately find the right words or solve the problem.

Caregivers don’t have to have every answer. What matters is creating an opportunity for your loved one to talk, taking what they tell you seriously, and knowing when it’s time to bring additional support into the conversation.

Start With What You’ve Actually Noticed

Difficult conversations often go better when they begin with an observation instead of an assumption. Rather than telling your loved one that you think they’re depressed, begin with the change you’ve noticed. Maybe they haven’t been attending activities they normally enjoy. Maybe they’ve stopped answering calls from friends. Perhaps they’re sleeping much more than usual, seem increasingly frustrated, or have started saying that they feel like a burden.

Starting with what you’ve seen gives your loved one room to explain what may be happening from their perspective. There may be something going on that you didn’t know about. They may be grieving a loss, worried about money, frustrated by a health change, struggling with pain, or having difficulty adjusting to depending on other people. The first conversation doesn’t have to uncover everything. Sometimes the most important thing you can do is open the door.

Give Them Room to Tell You What’s Going On

Caregivers spend a lot of time solving problems. When something happens, we start thinking about appointments, transportation, medications, schedules, and what needs to happen next. Emotional conversations require something a little different. Before deciding what your loved one needs, give them time to talk.

That may mean sitting through a pause without immediately filling the silence. It may mean hearing frustration that you can’t fix. Your loved one may tell you they’re angry about losing independence, tired of medical appointments, lonely since someone died, or embarrassed that they need more assistance. Try not to immediately correct what they’re feeling. Telling someone that they shouldn’t feel that way, that other people have it worse, or that they have plenty to be grateful for may be intended as encouragement, but it can also shut down the conversation.

You don’t have to agree with every conclusion your loved one reaches to acknowledge that what they’re feeling is real to them.

Ask Direct Questions When the Situation Calls for Them

There are times when a general conversation about emotional health needs to become more direct. If your aging loved one talks about wanting to die, says there’s no reason to keep living, describes themselves as a burden, or makes comments that cause you to worry about their safety, don’t avoid the subject because it feels uncomfortable.

Ask what they mean. If you’re concerned they may be thinking about suicide, ask them directly. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline includes talking about wanting to die, feeling hopeless, feeling trapped, believing you’re a burden, withdrawing from others, major changes in sleep, increased substance use, and extreme mood changes among warning signs that may require additional attention, particularly when the behavior is new, increasing, or connected to a painful loss or change.

Asking about suicide does not mean you’re accusing your loved one of something. You’re trying to understand whether they’re safe. Avoiding the question doesn’t remove the risk.

Don’t Promise to Keep a Safety Concern Secret

Your aging loved one may tell you something difficult and ask you not to tell anyone. That can put caregivers in an uncomfortable position. You want your loved one to trust you, but protecting that trust cannot mean keeping information private when you believe their safety may be at risk.

If they’re experiencing suicidal thoughts or you’re seriously concerned about their mental health, additional support may need to be involved even if they’re hesitant. You can still be respectful about how that happens. Explain why you’re concerned. Let them know who you would like to contact and why. Include them in decisions as much as the situation safely allows.

The goal isn’t to take control away from your loved one. It’s to make sure a serious concern isn’t left for one family member to manage alone.

Bring Their Healthcare Provider Into the Conversation

Changes in emotional health should be discussed with your loved one’s healthcare provider, especially when those changes are new, persistent, or beginning to interfere with daily life. A primary care provider can be an important place to start because emotional and physical health are closely connected.

Some symptoms that appear to be depression may also be affected by medical conditions, medications, pain, sleep problems, or other changes in health. That is another reason caregivers should avoid trying to diagnose the situation on their own. Your loved one may eventually need support from a therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, social worker, or another mental health professional, but you don’t have to determine that by yourself. Start by making sure the concern reaches someone who can properly evaluate what’s happening.

Expect That Your Loved One May Resist Help

Recognizing that someone needs additional support doesn’t mean they’ll immediately agree. Your loved one may insist they’re fine. They may tell you they don’t want strangers involved in their business. They may come from a generation or culture where mental health treatment carried significant stigma. Some older adults may also associate counseling or psychiatric care with being weak, unstable, or unable to manage their own lives.

Arguing usually doesn’t make those concerns disappear. Instead, find out what’s behind the resistance. If your loved one doesn’t want to see a therapist, they may be more comfortable beginning with their regular doctor. Someone who doesn’t want to attend a support group may feel differently about speaking privately with a counselor. Telehealth may work better for someone with transportation or mobility limitations.

The first option you suggest doesn’t have to be the only option. The goal is getting your loved one connected to appropriate support in a way they’re willing and able to use whenever possible.

Stay Connected After the First Conversation

One conversation may not be enough. Your loved one may tell you they’re fine because they aren’t ready to talk. They may share a little and decide they don’t want to say anything else. You may help schedule an appointment and assume that means the problem has been handled.

Continue checking in. That doesn’t mean turning every phone call into an emotional assessment. It means continuing to pay attention and leaving room for the conversation to continue. Ask how they’ve been feeling. Find out whether the appointment was helpful. Notice whether the behaviors that concerned you are improving, continuing, or becoming more serious.

Support often happens over time. Aging loved ones need to know that asking for help won’t make them a burden and that talking about what they’re experiencing won’t make their family disappear.

Know When the Situation Cannot Wait

Some situations require immediate help. If your aging loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis, has suicidal thoughts, or you’re worried they may harm themselves, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available throughout the United States. As of 2026, people can call or text 988 or use the online chat service to connect with trained crisis counselors. Caregivers can also contact 988 when they’re worried about someone else and need guidance about what to do next.

If your aging loved one is a veteran, the Veterans Crisis Line can also be reached by calling 988 and pressing 1 or by texting 838255. If someone has already attempted suicide, has a life-threatening injury, or is in immediate physical danger, seek emergency medical assistance.

You don’t have to wait until you’re completely certain before asking for professional guidance.

Remember That You Are Their Caregiver, Not Their Therapist

When someone you love is struggling, it can be easy to feel as though keeping them emotionally well has become another caregiving responsibility. That is too much for one person to carry.

You can listen, notice changes, make an appointment, provide transportation, sit beside them during a difficult conversation, help them connect with resources, and continue showing up. What you cannot do is become their entire mental health support system.

Supporting your aging loved one means helping create a wider circle of care rather than trying to become that entire circle yourself. That distinction matters for the person receiving care and for the caregiver. The stronger the support system becomes, the less likely one person is to be responsible for recognizing every change, answering every call, handling every crisis, and knowing exactly what to do.

Keep the Conversation Going

Talking about emotional health doesn’t need to happen only after something has gone wrong. Make it part of how your family talks about aging and caregiving. If you’re already discussing blood pressure, medications, mobility, doctor appointments, and physical pain, there should also be room to ask how your loved one is doing emotionally.

Some conversations will be uncomfortable, and some may not go the way you expect. Your loved one may need time before they’re willing to accept additional support. What matters is that emotional health doesn’t become something the family notices but never discusses.

In Recognizing Emotional Changes in Your Aging Loved One, I talked about how caregivers can recognize changes in mood, behavior, social connection, and daily life that may indicate an aging loved one is struggling. Once you recognize those changes, the next responsibility isn’t to diagnose what’s happening. It’s to respond, ask questions, involve the appropriate support, and make sure serious concerns aren’t ignored.

Caregivers cannot prevent every difficult season their aging loved ones will experience. But we can create families where emotional health is taken seriously, asking for help is allowed, and no one has to quietly carry everything by themselves.

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Struggling with being patient as a Caregiver

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz is talking about something every caregiver has probably struggled with at one time or another: patience.

Caregiving does not happen in a perfect environment. You may wake up late, your schedule may change, something unexpected may happen with your aging loved one, or you may simply be tired, hungry, overwhelmed, and trying to get too much done at once. Before you know it, something small can push you from calm to frustrated.

And Roz will be the first to tell you—she is working on this right along with you.

In this episode, Roz breaks down six reasons we often struggle with patience, including disrupted routines, feeling like there is never enough time, comparing our progress to someone else’s, becoming overwhelmed, expecting results too quickly, and trying to function when we are tired or hungry.

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Speaking With Your Aging Loved One About Vaccines

By Roz Jones

Speaking with an aging loved one about their health isn’t always easy.

As a family caregiver, you may already be involved in many of their healthcare decisions. You may go with them to appointments, help them remember questions, or support them when something new is recommended. Even with that involvement, there can still be certain conversations that feel more sensitive than others.

Vaccines can be one of them.

Your loved one may be hesitant because of something they’ve heard, something they experienced in the past, or simply because they don’t understand why another vaccine is being recommended now.

That’s where the conversation matters.

Your job isn’t to pressure them into agreeing with you. It’s to help create enough trust and understanding for them to ask questions, express concerns, and make an informed decision about their health.

Start by Asking What They Think

Before you explain why you believe a vaccine is important, find out what your loved one is actually thinking.

A simple question like, “How do you feel about what the doctor recommended?” can tell you much more than jumping straight into an explanation.

You may learn that they’re afraid of needles, worried about side effects, confused about why the recommendation has changed, or frustrated because they feel like everyone is making decisions for them.

Sometimes what sounds like refusal is really uncertainty.

If you know what the concern is, you can have a much better conversation about it.

Listen Before You Try to Correct Them

Caregivers often want to fix the problem immediately.

If your loved one says something you know isn’t accurate, your first instinct may be to correct it right away. But if they already feel defensive, that can make them shut down even more.

Let them finish what they’re saying.

Ask where the concern came from and what specifically is bothering them. Once they feel heard, they may be more open to hearing something different.

You don’t have to agree with misinformation, but you also don’t have to turn the conversation into an argument.

Sometimes the best response is simply, “I hear what you’re saying. Let’s make sure we get a clear answer about that.”

Pay Attention to What’s Underneath the Resistance

Sometimes the vaccine isn’t the real issue.

Your loved one may be tired of medical appointments. They may feel like aging has taken away too much control already. They may be frustrated that other people are constantly telling them what they need to do.

They may also be afraid of becoming sick, even if they don’t know how to say that directly.

That’s why it’s important to listen for what’s underneath the words.

If the real issue is fear, more facts alone may not help.

If the real issue is control, pushing harder may make things worse.

If the real issue is confusion, they may simply need someone to explain the recommendation in a way that makes sense to them.

Understanding the real concern can help you respond to your loved one instead of only responding to the word “no.”

Make Sure They Feel Included

Aging doesn’t mean a person should stop having a voice in their own care.

When possible, include your loved one in the conversation from the beginning. Ask what questions they want answered and what would help them feel more comfortable.

If they’re able to make their own healthcare decisions, give them room to do that.

Family caregivers often step in because support is needed, but support and control aren’t the same thing.

Your loved one may be much more willing to participate in a health conversation when they feel like they’re part of the decision instead of the subject of it.

Know When to Bring in Someone They Trust

You don’t have to be the only person having this conversation.

Sometimes your loved one may be more comfortable hearing information from their doctor, nurse, pharmacist, or another healthcare professional they already trust.

That can take some pressure off the family relationship too.

Instead of going back and forth at home, you can say, “Let’s ask your doctor about that so we know exactly what applies to you.”

That approach keeps the conversation open without making you responsible for proving every point yourself.

It also gives your loved one the chance to ask questions directly and hear answers that are based on their own health history.

Don’t Turn Hesitation Into a Fight

If your loved one isn’t ready to make a decision, pushing harder may not help.

They may need some time to think about what they’ve heard or decide what other questions they want answered. Giving them space doesn’t mean you’re giving up on the conversation.

It means you’re respecting the fact that health decisions can feel personal.

You can revisit the subject later without making every interaction about whether they’ve changed their mind.

Sometimes keeping the door open is more productive than trying to settle everything in one conversation.

Be Careful With Fear-Based Conversations

It can be tempting to focus on everything that could go wrong if your loved one doesn’t follow a recommendation.

That may get their attention, but fear isn’t always the best way to build trust.

Try to keep the conversation centered on helping them understand their options and what their healthcare provider believes is appropriate for them.

The goal isn’t to scare your loved one into saying yes.

The goal is to make sure they have enough reliable information to make a decision they understand.

That difference matters.

Keep Respect at the Center of the Conversation

Family caregivers often carry a deep sense of responsibility for the people they love.

That responsibility can make it hard when your loved one makes a decision you wouldn’t make for them.

You may feel frustrated. You may feel worried. You may even feel like you’re failing if you can’t convince them to see things the way you do.

But caregiving isn’t about winning every disagreement.

Sometimes caregiving means making sure your loved one has good information, knows what questions to ask, and feels supported enough to participate in their own care.

A few years ago, I first talked about this in Get the Stick So You Don’t Get Sick: Having Conversations about Immunizations with Your Aging Loved One. The conversation is still just as important today because family caregivers are often the people helping aging loved ones sort through questions, concerns, and changing health recommendations.

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S.O.S: When to ask for help with Phil Hill

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz continues her conversation with security expert and former family caregiver Phil Hill about the emotional weight of caregiving, knowing when to ask for help, and what happens when caregivers try to carry too much for too long.

Phil reflects on the years he spent caring for his father while he and his wife were also helping care for her parents. He shares how managing several caregiving situations at once affected his family, his business, his relationships, and his emotional well-being.

Although Phil had access to a long-term care insurance policy and other resources, he waited to use them because he believed he might need them later. Roz reminds caregivers that the time to ask for help is often much earlier than they realize. When a loved one moves into the home, the family should begin identifying gaps in care, exploring available benefits, and creating a support plan before exhaustion and crisis take over.

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When Health Needs Change During the Trip: Responding While Away

By Roz Jones

Planning ahead is one of the most important things a caregiver can do before traveling with an aging loved one. Medications should be organized, medical information should be easy to access, and the family should know where to seek care if a health concern arises.

However, even the most detailed plan cannot account for every possibility.

An aging loved one may become more tired than expected, experience confusion in an unfamiliar environment, miss a medication, lose their appetite, or develop symptoms that require medical attention. When this happens, caregivers need to know how to respond without allowing panic or the pressure to continue the vacation to interfere with good judgment.

Travel plans may need to change, but your loved one’s health and safety must remain the priority.

Watch for Changes in Your Loved One’s Normal Behavior

Travel often changes a person’s usual routine. Meals may happen later, sleep may be interrupted, and the day may include more walking, noise, activity, and social interaction than your loved one is accustomed to.

These changes can affect an aging adult’s physical and emotional well-being.

Pay attention to anything that seems different from your loved one’s normal behavior. They may appear more tired, confused, irritable, withdrawn, weak, or unsteady. They may complain about pain, become short of breath, eat less than usual, or have difficulty sleeping.

A small change does not always indicate an emergency, but it should not be ignored. Caregivers often recognize early signs that something is wrong because they understand their loved one’s normal habits, mood, and level of functioning.

When something feels different, slow down and take a closer look.

Know When Medical Attention Is Needed

Before traveling, speak with your loved one’s healthcare provider about symptoms that would require immediate attention. The guidance may vary depending on your loved one’s health conditions, medications, and medical history.

Chest pain, difficulty breathing, sudden weakness, signs of a stroke, severe confusion, loss of consciousness, uncontrolled bleeding, a serious allergic reaction, or a fall involving the head may require emergency care.

Caregivers should also know how to respond to changes involving blood pressure, blood sugar, oxygen levels, or other health measurements that are regularly monitored at home.

Keep the address and phone number of the nearest emergency room, urgent care center, and pharmacy with your travel information. If the situation appears life-threatening, call 911.

Do not delay care because you are worried about disrupting the trip. Vacation plans can be adjusted. A medical emergency cannot be placed on hold.

Respond Carefully to Missed Medications

Medication schedules can become harder to manage while traveling. Delayed flights, time-zone changes, skipped meals, late mornings, and busy itineraries can all lead to missed or delayed doses.

If your loved one misses a medication, do not automatically give an extra dose unless the prescribing provider or pharmacist has instructed you to do so.

Review the medication instructions and contact a healthcare professional when you are unsure what to do. Be prepared to provide the name of the medication, the prescribed dosage, the time it should have been taken, and the time you realized it was missed.

It is also important to write down what happened and the instructions you received. This helps prevent confusion when more than one person is assisting with care.

Everyone involved should understand whether the missed dose should be taken, skipped, or adjusted.

Prepare for Time-Zone Changes

Crossing time zones can create additional challenges for medication management.

Some medications must be taken at consistent intervals, while others may allow more flexibility. Caregivers should discuss this with a healthcare provider or pharmacist before leaving home rather than trying to create a new schedule after arriving.

Write out the medication schedule for both the home time zone and the destination. Set alarms on your phone and share the schedule with anyone who will be helping during the trip.

After arriving, continue watching for changes in sleep, appetite, mood, alertness, and energy. Time-zone changes can be difficult for anyone, but they may be especially challenging for an aging loved one living with dementia, diabetes, heart disease, or another chronic condition.

Adjust the Itinerary to Match Their Energy

A full vacation schedule may look exciting on paper, but it may be too demanding for an aging loved one.

They may need more time in the morning, longer breaks between activities, or an afternoon to rest. They may enjoy one outing and decide they do not have the energy for the next one.

Caregivers should build flexibility into the itinerary before fatigue becomes a problem.

Choose the activities that matter most and leave room for rest. Try to keep meals, medication times, and sleep routines as consistent as possible. Avoid scheduling every hour of the day.

A successful vacation is not measured by how many attractions the family visits. It is measured by whether your loved one feels safe, comfortable, included, and able to enjoy the experience.

Keep Family Members and Travel Companions Informed

When several people are traveling together, everyone should understand your loved one’s care needs.

Family members should know when medications are due, what symptoms to watch for, and when your loved one needs quiet time or rest. They should also understand that changes to the schedule may be necessary.

Caregiving responsibilities should not automatically remain with one person throughout the entire trip.

One family member may be able to pick up a prescription. Another may stay with your loved one while the primary caregiver rests. Someone else may adjust reservations, order a meal, or handle transportation.

Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and reduce the pressure placed on the caregiver.

Keep Important Medical Information Accessible

If your loved one needs medical care while away, an unfamiliar healthcare provider will need accurate information.

Keep a written folder or secure digital file containing your loved one’s current medication list, medical conditions, allergies, insurance information, emergency contacts, and healthcare provider information.

Include copies of advance directives, healthcare power of attorney documents, or other legal paperwork when appropriate.

When speaking with a new healthcare provider, explain what is normal for your loved one and what has changed. Your observations can help the provider understand whether a symptom or behavior is unusual.

Caregivers often hold information that cannot be found in a medical record. Do not hesitate to share it.

Recognize When It May Be Time to Return Home

Ending a trip early can be disappointing, especially when the family has invested time, money, and hope into the experience.

Still, there may come a point when returning home is the safest decision.

Your loved one may need ongoing evaluation from their regular healthcare provider. Their health needs may become difficult to manage at the destination. The pace of travel may be causing increased confusion, exhaustion, pain, or anxiety.

The caregiver’s well-being must also be considered. If you are too exhausted, overwhelmed, or frightened to safely continue providing care, the plan needs to be reconsidered.

Going home early does not mean the trip was a failure.

It means the caregiver recognized that the situation had changed and responded accordingly.

Make Room for a Different Kind of Memory

Caregivers may feel pressure to make every moment of the vacation special. They want their loved one to enjoy the trip, participate in the activities, and create memories with the family.

Sometimes the most meaningful moments are not the ones listed on the itinerary.

They may happen during a quiet breakfast, a slow drive through a familiar neighborhood, an afternoon spent listening to music, or a conversation in the hotel room.

When health needs change, the trip may not look the way the family originally imagined. That does not mean it has lost its value.

Traveling with an aging loved one requires preparation, patience, flexibility, and honest communication. Caregivers need to know when to continue with the plan, when to slow down, and when to make a different decision.

The goal is not to complete every activity.

The goal is to protect your loved one’s health while creating an experience that allows them to feel cared for, respected, and included.

Continue Reading

This article is a continuation of Essential Tips for Caregivers Traveling with Aging Loved Ones: Managing Medications and Health Needs While on Vacation.

Prepare for Your Next Trip

Preparing for travel can help caregivers feel more organized and confident before leaving home. Download the free Vacationing With an Aging Loved One Checklist for practical reminders related to medications, safety, transportation, accommodations, and health needs.

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Patient Advocacy: The Caregivers Role

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz is talking about an important role many caregivers step into without always realizing it: becoming an advocate for their loved one at the doctor’s office.

Doctor visits can feel overwhelming for both the caregiver and the aging loved one. There may be anxiety, confusion, medication changes, new symptoms, treatment options, and instructions that are hard to remember once the appointment is over. That is why caregivers need to walk in prepared, ask the right questions, and make sure they leave with clear answers.

Roz breaks down practical ways caregivers can advocate before, during, and after medical appointments. She talks about preparing ahead of time, writing down questions and concerns, tracking new symptoms or changes, taking notes during the visit, sharing updates with the care team, and making sure everyone involved in the loved one’s care is on the same page.

She also reminds caregivers not to be afraid to ask the doctor to explain things in plain language. If something is unclear, uncomfortable, or confusing, caregivers have the right and responsibility to ask questions. Roz also encourages families to understand treatment options, possible side effects, medication changes, and how each decision may affect their loved one’s independence and daily routine.

This episode is a practical reminder that advocacy is part of caregiving. It is not enough to just show up at the appointment. Caregivers need to listen, take notes, ask questions, review medications, and help coordinate between doctors, specialists, and the full care team.

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Give Yourself a Moment of Grace

If you need encouragement for the emotional side of caregiving, purchase Roz Jones’ book, Moments of Grace. This book offers support, reflection, and reminders of grace for the caregiver who is carrying a lot.

This journal was created to help caregivers pause, breathe, reflect, and find strength in the middle of the caregiving journey.

Purchase Moments of Grace today and give yourself permission to breathe in the middle of the caregiving journey.

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Don’t Wait Until the Storm is Coming

Hurricane season can create additional challenges for families caring for aging loved ones. The Caregiver Hurricane Preparedness Checklist helps caregivers prepare medications, medical equipment, emergency contacts, important documents, and evacuation plans before a storm arrives.

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Need Help Sorting Through the Care Plan?

Roz Jones is a dedicated caretaker turned CEO with over a decade of experience in helping families care for and make decisions for loved ones and their legacies.Roz is a compassionate, innovative healthcare industry leader.

If your family needs help thinking through care decisions, caregiving responsibilities, or next steps, book a session with Roz Jones. You do not have to navigate this season alone.

Together, we can talk through what is working, what is becoming too heavy, and what boundaries need to be strengthened so you can continue to care without losing yourself in the process.

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Using Technology to Support an Aging Loved One While You Are Away

By Roz Jones

Technology has become an important part of modern caregiving. For family caregivers who are preparing to travel, the right tools can provide additional support, improve communication, and help families respond more quickly when something changes.

Video calls, medical alert systems, medication reminders, smart home devices, and virtual healthcare services can all strengthen a care plan. However, technology should be used as a supplement to dependable in-person support rather than a replacement for it.

A successful remote caregiving plan begins with choosing tools that match the aging loved one’s needs, introducing those tools before the caregiver leaves, and making sure trusted individuals know how to respond when assistance is required.

Selecting Technology Based on Care Needs

The most effective technology is the technology that addresses a specific caregiving concern.

An aging adult who remains mostly independent may benefit from scheduled video calls, medication reminders, and a medical alert device. Someone with mobility limitations may need fall detection or emergency response services. A loved one living with dementia may benefit from door sensors, location tracking, or motion alerts that help family members recognize unusual activity.

Health-monitoring devices may also be useful for individuals managing chronic conditions. Depending on the healthcare provider’s recommendations, these tools may record blood pressure, blood sugar, oxygen levels, weight, or other important health information.

Before purchasing or installing a device, caregivers should consider whether it will be easy for the aging loved one to use, whether it protects privacy, and whether someone will be available to respond when an alert occurs.

Technology should simplify the care plan. It should not create additional confusion for the loved one or the people providing support.

Introducing New Devices Before the Vacation

New technology should be introduced well before the caregiver’s departure.

The aging loved one needs time to become familiar with the device, and the support team needs time to learn how it operates. Installing new equipment at the last minute may increase anxiety and leave little time to correct problems.

Testing the technology during the regular care routine allows families to determine whether it is reliable and appropriate.

An aging loved one may have difficulty answering a video call, remembering to wear a medical alert button, or understanding a medication reminder. Someone living with memory loss may unplug a device or remove a sensor because they do not recognize its purpose.

These concerns are easier to address while the primary caregiver is still at home.

The testing period should also include checking batteries, charging cords, internet connections, passwords, notification settings, and emergency contact information.

Maintaining Connection Through Video Calls

Video calls can help caregivers remain connected while they are away. They provide an opportunity to see the aging loved one, observe facial expressions, and notice changes that may not be obvious during a telephone conversation.

Scheduled calls can also provide reassurance and help maintain an important emotional connection.

The timing and frequency of video calls should be based on the loved one’s needs.

Some aging adults may enjoy a daily call and look forward to sharing updates. Others may become anxious or confused, especially if they do not understand why the caregiver is visible on a screen but cannot return home immediately.

A loved one living with dementia may repeatedly ask when the caregiver is coming back or become distressed after the call ends.

The person providing in-person care should observe how the loved one responds and adjust the call schedule when necessary.

The purpose of video communication is to provide comfort and connection without disrupting the care routine.

Adding Medical Alert Systems to the Care Plan

Medical alert systems can provide an additional layer of protection for aging adults who are at risk of falling or experiencing a medical emergency.

These systems may include wearable buttons, two-way communication, automatic fall detection, location tracking, and access to an emergency response center.

Before relying on a medical alert system, caregivers should confirm that the device works throughout the home and in any outdoor areas the loved one regularly uses.

The loved one should understand how to activate the device and should be comfortable wearing it consistently.

Emergency contact information should be reviewed before the vacation. Outdated names and telephone numbers should be removed, and the support team should understand what happens when an alert is triggered.

A medical alert device can only provide assistance when it is charged, accessible, and connected to a reliable response plan.

Using Smart Home Devices for Safety

Smart home technology can help families monitor activity within the home.

Motion sensors, door sensors, smart locks, and security systems may provide useful information about whether an aging loved one is moving through the home, opening an exterior door, or following familiar routines.

These devices may be especially useful for individuals who live alone or have memory loss.

However, smart home alerts require follow-up.

A lack of movement may mean the loved one is resting, but it may also indicate a fall or sudden illness. A door alert may show that the loved one stepped outside, or it may indicate that they left the home unexpectedly.

The device cannot determine the reason for the activity.

The care plan should identify who will respond to alerts and how quickly that response should occur. The designated person should have access to the home and know when emergency services should be contacted.

Without a clear response procedure, technology may provide information without improving safety.

Protecting Privacy When Using Cameras

Security cameras may help families monitor entrances, common areas, or other parts of the home. They may also help confirm that a professional caregiver arrived or provide information after an emergency alert.

Before installing cameras, caregivers should consider the aging loved one’s privacy and dignity.

The loved one should know where cameras are located and why they are being used. Access to live video and recordings should be limited to trusted individuals directly involved in the care plan.

Cameras should not be placed in bathrooms, bedrooms, or other private spaces without careful consideration, appropriate consent, and a clear medical need.

Passwords should be secure, and recordings should never be shared casually with relatives or posted online.

Safety should not come at the cost of the loved one’s dignity or right to privacy.

Supporting Medication Management

Medication technology can help caregivers reduce the risk of missed or duplicated doses.

Available tools may include reminder applications, automated dispensers, alarms, and systems that notify a designated caregiver when medication has not been taken.

The appropriate option depends on the aging loved one’s ability to understand and manage the medication routine.

A simple reminder may be enough for someone who remains independent. A person living with memory loss may require an automated dispenser or direct supervision from an in-person caregiver.

Families should not assume that an alert confirms the medication was taken correctly. The loved one may open the container and forget to take the dose, remove several doses at once, or become confused by the alarm.

Medication tools should be tested before the vacation, and the support team should understand how to confirm that the correct dose was taken at the correct time.

Preparing for Virtual Healthcare

Virtual healthcare services may provide access to medical guidance while the primary caregiver is away.

Telehealth appointments can be useful for discussing new symptoms, reviewing medications, asking questions, or determining whether an in-person appointment is necessary.

Before traveling, caregivers should confirm which healthcare providers offer virtual appointments and save the correct contact and portal information.

The person attending the appointment with the aging loved one should have access to current medications, insurance information, recent symptoms, and any health readings requested by the provider.

These readings may include blood pressure, temperature, oxygen levels, blood sugar, or weight.

Virtual healthcare is not appropriate for every situation. Chest pain, difficulty breathing, signs of stroke, loss of consciousness, serious falls, or other medical emergencies require immediate emergency care.

The support team should understand when telehealth may be useful and when emergency services should be contacted.

Organizing Digital Care Information

Digital care records can help several caregivers share important information without relying on memory or separate conversations.

A secure record may include medication completion, meals, fluid intake, appointments, blood pressure readings, changes in mobility, pain, sleep, mood, and other observations.

This information can improve continuity when care responsibilities change throughout the day.

The person providing evening care can review what occurred earlier and recognize whether a new concern is developing.

Digital records should be stored securely, and access should be limited to individuals who need the information.

Private medical details should not be placed in unsecured group messages or shared accounts that include people outside the care team.

Technology should improve coordination while continuing to protect confidentiality.

Preparing for Power and Internet Outages

Many caregiving devices depend on electricity, Wi-Fi, cellular service, or batteries.

A power outage may affect cameras, medication dispensers, alert systems, smart locks, internet-based phones, and medical equipment.

Before leaving, caregivers should determine which devices will continue working during an outage and how long backup batteries will last.

Phones, portable power banks, and medical devices should be fully charged. Charging cords and replacement batteries should be labeled and stored where the support team can easily find them.

Written care information and important telephone numbers should remain available on paper.

If an aging loved one relies on oxygen, an adjustable bed, a lift, or other equipment that requires electricity, the equipment provider should be contacted for backup instructions.

Technology can fail. The care plan must remain functional when it does.

Managing Passwords and Account Access

The support team may need access to certain devices, applications, or online portals while the caregiver is away.

This access should be prepared carefully.

Passwords should not be left in an unsecured location or shared with individuals who do not need them.

A secure password manager, sealed emergency document, or another protected method may be used to provide access to necessary information.

The support team may need access to a medication application, medical alert dashboard, telehealth portal, or smart home system. They should not automatically receive access to personal email, financial accounts, or unrelated private information.

Access should be reviewed and updated after the vacation if it is no longer required.

Creating a Response Plan for Alerts

Every device included in the care plan should be connected to a specific response procedure.

The support team should understand what the alert means, who receives it, who will check on the loved one, and when emergency services should be contacted.

A fall-detection alert should identify who will enter the home if the loved one does not respond.

A missed medication alert should identify who will confirm whether the dose was taken.

A door alert should identify who will respond if the loved one leaves unexpectedly.

Technology identifies a possible concern. The support team provides the care and judgment needed to address it.

Both parts are necessary for the system to work.

Keeping Human Support at the Center of Care

Technology can strengthen a caregiving plan, but it cannot replace human care.

An aging loved one may still need help preparing meals, bathing, dressing, moving safely, attending appointments, and responding to changes in health.

They may also need companionship, reassurance, and the presence of someone who can recognize when something does not seem right.

Cameras, sensors, and applications should not be used to reduce in-person care when the loved one’s condition requires direct support.

The amount of human assistance should continue to be based on the loved one’s needs.

Technology should support the care team, not become the care team.

Reviewing the Technology After the Vacation

After returning home, caregivers should review how well the technology supported the care plan.

This review should include whether alerts were accurate, video calls were helpful, medication reminders worked, and the support team understood how to use each device.

Caregivers should also review connection problems, missed notifications, false alarms, battery issues, and privacy concerns.

The aging loved one’s experience should be included whenever possible.

A device may function correctly and still be inappropriate if it causes confusion, anxiety, or discomfort.

The review can help families decide which tools should remain part of the regular care plan and which should be changed or removed.

Using Technology With Preparation and Purpose

Technology can help caregivers stay connected, organize care information, monitor safety, and respond more quickly when concerns arise.

Its value depends on how it is selected and used.

The most effective remote caregiving plan includes appropriate technology, dependable in-person support, clear emergency procedures, privacy protections, and backup options when devices fail.

Technology provides additional information and support.

It does not replace the people responsible for providing care.

When technology is introduced carefully and connected to a complete caregiving plan, families can remain informed while aging loved ones continue receiving safe, respectful, and consistent support.

Read the previous blog to learn how to establish a communication schedule, document changes, identify urgent concerns, protect medical privacy and maintain continuity of care while the primary caregiver is away.

Prepare for Your Next Trip

Before traveling with an aging loved one, download the free Vacationing with an Aging Loved One Checklist.

This checklist will help you organize important information, supplies, medications, documents, accommodations, and care needs before leaving home.

Download the FREE Checklist

Tune in to The Caregiver Café Podcast

Assisted Living: What Caregivers Need to Know

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz is talking about what caregivers need to know when it may be time to look for an assisted living facility.

There may come a point in the caregiving journey when your loved one’s care needs become more than one person can safely manage at home. Maybe their condition has changed. Maybe they need help standing, bathing, eating, taking medication, or getting to the bathroom. Maybe it now takes two people to safely transfer them from the bed or chair. When that happens, it may be time to start asking questions and exploring the next level of care.

Roz walks listeners through some of the important questions to ask when touring an assisted living facility, including staff ratios, staff turnover, training, medical support, room options, emergency response systems, accessibility, activities, meals, shared spaces, and whether residents can bring personal furniture or pets.

This episode is a practical reminder that choosing a facility is not only about the building. It is about safety, staffing, comfort, dignity, and making sure your loved one receives the care they need.

Before you take a tour, pour yourself something warm, get your questions ready, and let Roz help you know what to look for, what to ask, and what to pay attention to.

Listen to the Episode

Give Yourself a Moment of Grace

This journal was created to help caregivers pause, breathe, reflect, and find strength in the middle of the caregiving journey.

Purchase Moments of Grace today and give yourself permission to breathe in the middle of the caregiving journey.

Purchase the Journal

Don’t Wait Until the Storm is Coming

Severe weather can create additional risks for aging loved ones and family caregivers.

The Caregiver Hurricane Preparedness Checklist will help you organize emergency contacts, medications, medical information, evacuation needs, important documents and essential supplies before a storm arrives.

Grab the Checklist!

Need Help Sorting Through the Care Plan?

If your family needs help thinking through care decisions, caregiving responsibilities, or next steps, book a session with Roz Jones. You do not have to navigate this season alone.

Together, we can talk through what is working, what is becoming too heavy, and what boundaries need to be strengthened so you can continue to care without losing yourself in the process.

Book a Session!

Subscribe to The Caregiver Cafe Weekly Newsletter!

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Staying Connected While Away: Maintaining Continuity of Care During Your Vacation

By Roz Jones

Creating a detailed care plan is one of the most important steps a caregiver can take before leaving an aging loved one in someone else’s care. The plan provides guidance on medications, daily routines, dietary needs, medical conditions, emergency contacts, and other responsibilities that must continue during the caregiver’s absence.

Once the vacation begins, however, the care plan must be supported by clear and consistent communication.

Communication allows the caregiver, family members, professional caregivers, and healthcare providers to remain informed about changes in the aging loved one’s health, behavior, routine, and overall well-being. It also helps prevent small concerns from becoming larger problems.

The purpose is not for the primary caregiver to continue managing every detail from a distance. The goal is to establish a dependable system that allows important information to be shared, questions to be answered, and concerns to be addressed promptly.

Establish a Communication Schedule Before Leaving

Caregivers should decide how communication will be handled before the vacation begins.

Without a clear plan, updates may come from several different people at different times. One family member may send a text, another may call, and a professional caregiver may leave a separate message. This can make it difficult to determine what happened, when it occurred, and whether the information has already been addressed.

Designating one person as the primary contact can help organize communication.

The primary contact may be a family member, trusted friend, professional caregiver, or care coordinator who understands the full care plan. This individual can collect information from everyone involved and provide the caregiver with a complete update.

The frequency of those updates should be based on the aging loved one’s condition and level of care.

A loved one who remains mostly independent may only require one update each day. Someone with complex medical needs, memory loss, mobility limitations, or significant personal care needs may require more frequent communication.

The schedule may include a morning and evening update, one daily phone call, or immediate contact only when an important change occurs.

Establishing the schedule in advance helps the caregiver remain informed without spending the entire vacation waiting for phone calls or checking messages.

Determine What Information Should Be Shared

Routine updates should focus on the areas that reflect the loved one’s health, safety, and ability to complete daily activities.

Useful information may include whether medications were taken, meals were eaten, fluids were offered, appointments were completed, and the loved one rested comfortably.

The care team should also report changes in mobility, pain, behavior, sleep, appetite, bathroom habits, confusion, or alertness.

General statements such as “everything is fine” may sound reassuring, but they do not provide enough information to identify a developing concern.

A more useful update may explain that the loved one took all scheduled medications, ate breakfast and lunch, drank less water than usual, rested for most of the afternoon, and appeared more tired during the evening.

Specific information allows the caregiver and support team to recognize patterns.

A single skipped meal may not be unusual. Several missed meals, reduced fluid intake, and increased fatigue may indicate a larger concern that needs attention.

Separate Routine Changes From Urgent Concerns

The support team should understand which matters can be discussed during the scheduled update and which situations require immediate action.

Minor adjustments to the routine may not require the caregiver’s involvement. The loved one may choose a different meal, go to bed earlier, cancel an activity, or spend more time resting.

These changes can often be managed by the person providing care.

Medical emergencies and significant changes should be handled differently.

Immediate attention may be necessary when an aging loved one experiences chest pain, difficulty breathing, sudden weakness, slurred speech, loss of consciousness, severe confusion, a serious fall, or another sudden change in health.

The care team should also know what to do if a critical medication is missed, medical equipment stops working, the loved one refuses food or fluids for an extended period, or the scheduled caregiver fails to arrive.

Emergency services and healthcare providers should be contacted first when immediate medical care is needed. The primary caregiver should then be notified as soon as possible.

A caregiver should never have to make an emergency decision from a distance before the person at home takes action to protect the loved one.

Keep a Daily Care Record

A written care record can improve communication when several people are sharing responsibilities.

The record may be kept in a notebook, on a printed form, in a secure shared document, or through a caregiving application.

Each person providing care should document important information before ending their shift or leaving the home.

The record may include medication times, meals, fluid intake, blood pressure or blood sugar readings, pain levels, sleep patterns, mood, bathroom activity, appointments, and changes in mobility or behavior.

Documenting care prevents information from being lost between one caregiver and the next.

For example, the person arriving in the evening should know whether the loved one ate lunch, took afternoon medication, experienced dizziness, or reported pain earlier in the day.

A care record is also helpful when speaking with healthcare professionals. Accurate notes can provide a clearer picture of when a change began and how it progressed.

Maintain Contact With the Aging Loved One

Communication with the care team should not completely replace direct contact with the aging loved one.

A scheduled phone call or video call may provide comfort, reassurance, and connection while the caregiver is away.

The frequency and length of these calls should be based on the loved one’s needs.

Some aging adults may look forward to a daily conversation. Others may become anxious, confused, or upset after speaking with the caregiver.

A loved one living with dementia may repeatedly ask when the caregiver is returning or may not understand why the caregiver is away.

In these situations, shorter calls may be more appropriate. The person providing care should observe how the loved one responds before, during, and after the conversation.

Contact should support the loved one’s emotional well-being rather than interfere with the routine or increase distress.

Prepare for Emotional and Behavioral Changes

The absence of a primary caregiver can affect an aging loved one emotionally.

Even when the care plan remains consistent, the loved one may feel lonely, worried, frustrated, or uncertain about the change.

These emotions may appear through withdrawal, irritability, changes in sleep, reduced appetite, repeated questions, or resistance to care.

The support team should know which routines and activities provide comfort.

Familiar music, favorite television programs, photographs, preferred meals, quiet activities, and regular mealtimes may help maintain a sense of stability.

Reducing unnecessary changes in the home can also be helpful.

Whenever possible, caregivers should follow the same schedule, use familiar household items, and avoid introducing too many new people at once.

Behavioral changes should be monitored carefully.

Sudden confusion, agitation, or withdrawal should not automatically be attributed to the caregiver’s absence. Pain, dehydration, infection, medication issues, and other medical conditions can also cause changes in behavior.

When a change is significant or continues to worsen, the healthcare provider should be contacted.

Protect Privacy When Sharing Information

The aging loved one’s medical and personal information should remain protected during the caregiver’s absence.

Updates should only be shared with the people directly involved in the care plan.

Large family group messages may not be the appropriate place to discuss medications, medical conditions, bathroom habits, behavioral changes, or other private concerns.

The support team should also avoid posting photographs or personal updates on social media without permission.

Needing assistance does not remove an aging adult’s right to privacy.

Caregivers should use secure communication methods whenever possible and limit the information shared to what is necessary for care.

Avoid Managing the Entire Routine From a Distance

Some caregivers create a complete support plan but continue directing every decision after leaving.

They may call several times a day, monitor every meal, question small changes, and attempt to solve routine issues from their vacation destination.

This prevents the support team from carrying out the responsibilities they agreed to manage. It also prevents the caregiver from receiving the rest that the vacation was intended to provide.

The care plan should give trusted people enough information to make ordinary decisions.

The caregiver should remain available for significant concerns, changes in health, and situations that fall outside the written instructions.

Not every schedule adjustment requires approval.

Continuity of care does not mean every day must happen exactly as it would if the primary caregiver were home. It means the aging loved one continues receiving safe, respectful, and appropriate care.

Prepare for Communication Problems

Caregivers should also plan for periods when they may be unavailable.

Cell phone service may be limited.

The caregiver may be traveling by airplane, attending an activity, sleeping in another time zone, or unable to answer immediately.

The care team should have more than one contact option.

This may include a secondary family contact, email address, lodging information, travel itinerary, healthcare provider numbers, insurance information, and emergency contacts.

The support team should understand who to contact first and what steps should be taken if the primary caregiver cannot be reached.

Emergency care should never depend on one person answering one phone call.

Review the Care Experience After Returning Home

When the caregiver returns, the communication process should be reviewed along with the care plan.

Care notes, medication records, appointments, and health changes should be discussed.

The caregiver should ask the support team what worked well and what created difficulty.

The aging loved one should also be included in the conversation whenever possible.

They may have concerns about the schedule, food, personal care, visitors, or communication that should be considered before the next vacation.

The review may reveal that certain forms of support should continue.

A family member may be willing to provide regular check-ins. A professional caregiver may become part of an ongoing respite plan. A written care log may continue to be useful for appointments and medication management.

The information gathered during the vacation can strengthen the overall caregiving plan.

Communication Supports Continuity of Care

A detailed care plan provides the instructions needed to support an aging loved one.

Communication helps families determine whether those instructions are working.

When updates are organized, concerns are documented, and emergency procedures are clear, everyone involved can respond more effectively.

The aging loved one receives consistent care.

The support team understands what information should be shared.

The primary caregiver remains informed without continuing to manage every responsibility from a distance.

Effective communication does not require constant calls and messages.

It requires accurate information, clear expectations, and the right people knowing what to do when something changes.

Read the previous blog to learn how to document an aging loved one’s medical needs, medications, daily routines, emergency procedures, healthcare contacts, and other information needed before leaving someone else responsible for care.

Prepare for Your Next Trip

Before traveling with an aging loved one, download the free Vacationing with an Aging Loved One Checklist.

This checklist will help you organize important information, supplies, medications, documents, accommodations, and care needs before leaving home.

Download the FREE Checklist

Tune in to The Caregiver Café Podcast

Assisted Living: What Caregivers Need to Know

In this episode of The Caregiver Café with Roz Jones, Roz is talking about what caregivers need to know when it may be time to look for an assisted living facility.

Before you take a tour, pour yourself something warm, get your questions ready, and let Roz help you know what to look for, what to ask, and what to pay attention to.

Listen to the Episode

Give Yourself a Moment of Grace

This journal was created to help caregivers pause, breathe, reflect, and find strength in the middle of the caregiving journey.

Purchase Moments of Grace today and give yourself permission to breathe in the middle of the caregiving journey.

Purchase the Journal

Don’t Wait Until the Storm is Coming

Severe weather can create additional risks for aging loved ones and family caregivers.

Grab the Checklist!

Need Help Sorting Through the Care Plan?

If your family needs help thinking through care decisions, caregiving responsibilities, or next steps, book a session with Roz Jones. You do not have to navigate this season alone.

Together, we can talk through what is working, what is becoming too heavy, and what boundaries need to be strengthened so you can continue to care without losing yourself in the process.

Book a Session!

Subscribe to The Caregiver Cafe Weekly Newsletter!

Subscribe Now!